Crime and Punishment: Rodion Romanovich Raskolnikov Essay -- conflict,

Throughout the novel of Crime and Punishment, and any work of fiction at that, the characters exhibit specific temper traits that dictate their make-ups, loving inter consummations and behaviors. These characterizations control the overall development of the story. Characters personalities play a vital role in analyzing and understanding character development as well as vestigial themes, especially in the novel at hand. Specifically, the central character Rodion Romanovich Raskolnikov illustrates the divergence between good and evil in ones personality. Raskolnikovs personality conflict is so extreme in duality that he can be identified as both(prenominal) the protagonist and antagonist of this story. From this point comes the head word of to what extent does the personality conflict of Raskolnikov dictate his beliefs, actions and therefore contribute to overall plot development? Due to Raskolnikovs contradictory nature, he demonstrates intense levels of expedience and self- absorption alongside madness and agony. These aspects lead him to commit heinous criminal actions which physically and emotionally hurt others. Ultimately, he commits the greatest damage to himself through a kin into madness which he disavows. Raskolnikovs personality can be summed up by the meaning of Raskol in Russian which translates to split. Raskolnikov personifies an individual demonstrating antithesis in both his actions and thoughts. The author Fyodor Dostoevsky also incorporates symbolism of the number twain throughout the story to further signify this duality of personality. Examples include Raskolnikov not eating for two days, two children being saved from a burning house, and two gates and two courtyards at the house of the pawnbroker Alyona Ivanovna, wh... ...ntually express remorse for his crime.Raskolnikovs dual personality also is the autochthonic force which drives the plot of this novel. The action and events occur as a result of the characters personality driv er. When the focus of his internal personality is egocentric, the external action reflects this viewpoint. His internal examination of consciousness leads the plot to moving in that direction. The plot of Crime and Punishment seems to be an external mirror which reflects the continual inner conflict of Raskolnikovs dual personality.Works CitedRodion Romanovitch Raskolnikov. Shmoop. N.p., n.d. Web. 17 Jan. 2014. .Swinson, Stephanie. Motives for Murder in Crime and Punishment. Watermarks 2002. N.p., n.d. Web. 15 Jan. 2014. .

Female Circumcision in African Countries :: Female Circumcision Culture Essays

Female circumcision is a horrifying procedure that can be defined as the removal of the clitoris on the body of a female. The surgery is often accompanied by ceremonies intended to honor and welcome the girls into their communities. It can be observed in parts of Federal Africa and Southern Arabia where many girls undergo ritual surgery involving removal of parts of their external genitalia. About eighty million living women have had this surgery, and an additional tetrad or five million girls undergo it each year (Kouba and Muasher). This tradition is prevalent and deeply embedded in many countries, including Ethiopia, the Sudan, Somalia, Sierra Leone, Kenya, Tanzania, Central African Republic, Chad, Gambia, Liberia, Mali, Senegal, Eritrea, Ivory Coast, Upper Volta, Mauritania, Nigeria, Mozambique, Botswana, Lesotho, and Egypt (Abdalla). It is usually performed between infancy and puberty. From a Western point of view, it may seem unnecessary and vulgar. However, these ancient p ractices hold pregnant import to the people who practice it. They are supposed to promote chastity, religion, group identity, cleanliness, health, family values, and marriage goals. Although it is conducted with good intentions, tragically, the usual ways of performing these surgeries deny women sexual orgasms, cause significant unwholesomeness or mortality among women and children, and strain the over-burdened health care systems in these developing countries. These practices are often referred to as female circumcision, but those who wish to finish them increasingly use the description female genital mutilation. My paper will explore the various forms of female genital mutilation, its deep association with the direct system in Africa, and the efforts to stop this tragedy. Impalpable cultural clashes explode when people from societies practicing genital mutilation settle in other parts of the world and bring these rites with them. For example, it is ripe by Muslim groups in t he Philippines, Malaysia, Pakistan, Indonesia, Europe, and North America (Kluge). It is obvious that when different cultures are forced to live a similar life side by side, differences will occur. However, it is difficult to observe and accept any form of physical, mental or emotional abuse. In this particular case, the issue is addressed towards female genital mutilation which is strongly involved with all the forms of abuse. It is most common for parents to use traditional practitioners but there are some who seek medical facilities to reduce the morbidity or mortality of this genital surgery.

The Right to Own a Gun Essay -- Argumentative Persuasive Essays

The Right to Own a submarine Are you willing to sit back and become a victim of knock-down-and-drag-out criminal offense or allow the government to tamper with your civil liberties? In recent years, anti-gun politicians have attempted to control guns in the name of crime prevention this is an trespass on the moment Amendment flops of US citizens . The Second Amendment states, A well regulated Militia being necessary to the Security of a free state, the safe of the state to keep and ease up arms, shall not be infringed. Not only did our Founding Fathers focus their debate on the right of people to keep and bear arms, they given energy to encouraging future generations to defend theses freedoms. In defense of gun ownership, Alexander Hamilton give tongue to, If circumstances should at any time oblige the government to run an army of any magnitude, that army can never be formidable to the liberties of the people while there is a large body of citizens, little if at all infe rior to them in discipline and the use of arms, who stand ready to defend their rights and those of their fellow citizens. During our countrys development hundreds of law-abiding citizens were able to nonplus up arms against lawless mobs to defend themselves, their family, their homes, and their businesses. They did the job law enforcement simply could not do. Lives were saved. Robberies were prevented. Homes and businesses were defended and left intact, all thanks to the Second Amendment to our constitutional, the right to keep and bear arms.Americans have made it clear they reject most government intrusions on their basic civil rights, including the right of gun ownership. According to an April 18, 1994 study by Penn and Schoen Associates, Inc. as many as 85 percent of American adults said they are unwilling to forfeit basic civil liberties even if it could enhance their personal safety. 75 percent agreed that police and the justice systems couldnt protect them people said they h ave to take more responsibility for safeguarding themselves. 62 percent said the need for personal guns ownership is increasing, and a majority is unwilling to accept laws that restrict gun ownership greatly. Guns, Crime, and Freedom states that, no gun law which restricts the right of law-abiding citizens to own guns has been proven to reduce crime or homicides, not even the Brady Law and the Clinton Crime Bill. These two laws st... ...f federal law enforcement agencies did their jobs with respect to guns and convicted hot felons using only GCA68, as reformed, gun control would not be an issue and we would be a long way toward solving the violent crime problem. We would be getting criminals off the streets and into jail. Americans want violent criminals off the streets and out of their neighborhoods. The bottom line is Americans are upset about crime and thoroughly reject government solutions that infringe on their rights and liberties.Ultimately, it is a persons choice to use f irearms to commit violent crimes. So criminals should be controlled, not the guns which they voice with millions of law-abiding citizens. Gun control supporters claim that gun control lowers crime rate. We as people need to take a stand and fight for our Second Amendment and the right to bear arms. Gun control advocates need to realize that passing laws that honest gun owners will not obey is a self-defeating strategy. Gun owners are not about to surrender their liberties or their right to bear arms. The Federal Govement of the United States should not be able to take away the right of law-abiding citizens to own a gun.

Orphans in Jane Eyre Essay -- Jane Eyre Essays

Orphans in Jane Eyre Jane, one of the orphans in the novel Jane Eyre, is portrayed as the dupe of charity.She is also seen in others eyes as something less or lower than themselves. Orphans are seen by wealthy people as children who are in remove of their charity, and also who lack in morals, ambition, and culture. Jane tells about how she has no family her mother and her father had the typhus fever, and both died within a month of each other (58 ch. 3). As if this is not bad enough, she is also excluded from being a part of the Reed family Me, Mrs. Reed had dispensed from joining the group, saying, she regretted to be under the necessity of keeping me at a distance but that until she heard from Bessie, and could discover by her own observation that I was endeavoring in good earnest to acquire a more kind and childlike disposition, a more attractive and sprightly manner - something lighter, franker, more natural, as it were - she really must exclude me from privileges intended so lo for contented, happy brusque children. (39 ch. 1) Further, after Jane comes out of the red room, Mrs. Reed and the children go out for a carriage ride and leave Jane behind (55 ch. 3). Again, at Christmas time, From every enjoyment I was, of course, excluded my share of the gaiety consisted in witnessing the daily apparelling of Eliza and Georgiana, and seeing them descend to the drawing-room, dressed out in thin muslin frocks and scaarlet sashes, with hair elaborately ringleted (60 ch. 4). This not only shows her exclusion from family and family gatherings, but also that she is not perceived to be as good, happy, or sociable as her cousins. Her cousin John even makes her out to be something less than he, You... ...nineteenth century was not as easy as it was for her. Most orphans were put into a workhouse and had to deal with worse conditions than she. Orphanhood was very prevalent throughout the whole novel. Almost every character was an orphan or became one. Not many chara cters had family members that they were able to speak of, or of they did, they were not part of the immediate family, as Jane was with the Reeds. As lonely as Jane was, she was not as isolated, as one may believe. She was one amongst eighty girls at Lowood Institution who did not have a mother or a father, let a lone family members to care for them. She was even around many other orphans throughout the novel including the Reeds, the Rivers, and Adele. Works Cited Bronte, Charlotte. Jane Eyre. London, Penguin Books Ltd. 1996. (Edited with an admittance and Notes by Michael Mason).

Larry Bird :: essays research papers

This program leave be in its fifteenth annual cycle during Summer 2002 and isdesigned to attract students to various fields of clinical research. assimilators excessively get into valuable experience assessing validity of present-day(prenominal)clinical practice standards in a discipline. Research methods and dataanalysis aSTUDENT RESEARCH FELLOWSHIP programmeThis program entrust be in its 15th annual cycle during Summer 2002 and isdesigned to attract students to various fields of clinical research.Students also gain valuable experience assessing validity of currentclinical practice standards in a discipline. Research methods and dataanalysis are emphasized.Target audience first and second-year medical students will be legalfor summer fellowships. Some undergraduate pre medical students as well asgraduate students will be eligible (depending on availability of funding andmentors). Additionally, champion to four positions are reserved for first orsecond year law students an d one to deuce-ace for advanced degree nursingstudents.Program components Student appli behindts will complete a research fellowshipapplication form. Specific sponsors or preceptors will be identified forqualified students as funding kick the buckets available. Attempts will be made toplace a research student in an area of personal interest. followup criteriafor selection include strong student donnish records, personal achievementand integrity, research skills and experience, and recommendations fromscholastic advisors. Sponsors/preceptors will be encouraged to participatein the enlisting of students and will provide students with guidance andworkspace during the summer. Students are expect to consider the programas their full-time summer employment. Structured academic training programsand clinical card beyond the specific project (provided by thementor(s)) will also be encouraged.Stipend Each student will receive a stipend of $766.66 per three-week menstruation for a maximum award of $2300 over a nine-week program.Progress milestones Each student will be requested to attend a series ofdinner party meetings at three-week intervals. The purpose of these programs isto provide research fellows with excess information on abstractpreparation, poster preparation, manuscript preparation, and data analysis.The dinner meetings serve as a forum to present preliminary data and tobecome acquainted with other students and mentors. Each student will beexpected to deliver a sketch verbal report at each meeting.At the conclusion of the summer program, a student must prepare a meetingabstract, research poster, and research manuscript evaluated by his/herpreceptor in edict to receive final stipend payment. If performanceevaluation at the conclusion of the program is desired, a indite evaluationby each preceptor can be prepared. These evaluation summaries can beforwarded (if a student requests them) to their respective campus academicadvisors.Midwest conjunction for H ealth EducationandIndiana University School of Medicine- fastness Wayne Center for Medical EducationLarry Bird essays research papers This program will be in its 15th annual cycle during Summer 2002 and isdesigned to attract students to various fields of clinical research.Students also gain valuable experience assessing validity of currentclinical practice standards in a discipline. Research methods and dataanalysis aSTUDENT RESEARCH FELLOWSHIP PROGRAMThis program will be in its 15th annual cycle during Summer 2002 and isdesigned to attract students to various fields of clinical research.Students also gain valuable experience assessing validity of currentclinical practice standards in a discipline. Research methods and dataanalysis are emphasized.Target audience First and second-year medical students will be eligiblefor summer fellowships. Some undergraduate pre medical students as well asgraduate students will be eligible (depending on availability of funding andmentors). Additio nally, one to four positions are reserved for first orsecond year law students and one to three for advanced degree nursingstudents.Program components Student applicants will complete a research fellowshipapplication form. Specific sponsors or preceptors will be identified forqualified students as funding becomes available. Attempts will be made toplace a research student in an area of personal interest. Review criteriafor selection include strong student academic records, personal achievementand integrity, research skills and experience, and recommendations fromscholastic advisors. Sponsors/preceptors will be encouraged to participatein the recruitment of students and will provide students with guidance andworkspace during the summer. Students are expected to consider the programas their full-time summer employment. Structured academic training programsand clinical observation beyond the specific project (provided by thementor(s)) will also be encouraged.Stipend Each student will r eceive a stipend of $766.66 per three-weekperiod for a maximum award of $2300 over a nine-week program.Progress milestones Each student will be requested to attend a series ofdinner meetings at three-week intervals. The purpose of these programs isto provide research fellows with additional information on abstractpreparation, poster preparation, manuscript preparation, and data analysis.The dinner meetings serve as a forum to present preliminary data and tobecome acquainted with other students and mentors. Each student will beexpected to deliver a brief verbal report at each meeting.At the conclusion of the summer program, a student must prepare a meetingabstract, research poster, and research manuscript evaluated by his/herpreceptor in order to receive final stipend payment. If performanceevaluation at the conclusion of the program is desired, a written evaluationby each preceptor can be prepared. These evaluation summaries can beforwarded (if a student requests them) to their resp ective campus academicadvisors.Midwest Alliance for Health EducationandIndiana University School of Medicine-Fort Wayne Center for Medical Education

Frida Kahlo & Diego Rivera Q & A :: essays research papers

What is your first impressions of the following charactersFrida KahloI find her to be disabled from multiple injuries from a few pugnacious accidents that shouldnt of happened to anyone, that she got her artist vision & abilities in her first accident involving a bus crashing & then(prenominal) being plasted from her chest down to her calves, then she was basically as soon as only when her right leg was plasted.She was in hit the sack with Diego Rivera & married him twice, & then found out that she couldnt have kids, had gang color on her foot from smoking & drinking a lot, & then she died in peace being with the one she lived the most, being able to do what she loves wants & female genitals, in think of her a brave, considerate, & strong person.Diego RiveraHe can paint like a real artist, but he has no sense in love or the meaning of being in a relationship neither for marriage, until it was really, to late to have been able to do the things he could have & wanted to with Frid a Kahlo.I want to know what side he is playing for, the best of him or for the worst of him.In the movie Frida how was Frida Kahlo portrayedAs a woman? She was hard-boiled like a lady at times & at other times she got treated like a player of the game & man she can be mistaken as a man by looks & personality.As an artist? She was respected for her work, but the fact that she didnt seem like or acted like an artist, & using canvases that is what she lacked in respect, & for a while no-one really seemed to care, but then she met Diego Rivera.As Diegos wife? No-one believed that she should be married & in love with him for no reason though they all know the reasons why but they just didnt understand.Their relationship was complicated, cheating upon each other, until they departed because Diego slept with Fridas sister, then eventually they re-married, though they felt strong nearly each other though they couldnt she it til near the end when it was to late.How do think Frida felt abou t America?That the country lived on striving for power & money that they only wanted it their way or other wise you would either lose your argument or, everything else. Fact & point she very much disliked America.

Frida Kahlo & Diego Rivera Q & A :: essays research papers

What is your first impressions of the following charactersFrida KahloI find her to be disabled from multiple injuries from a a few(prenominal) harsh accidents that shouldnt of happened to anyone, that she got her artist vision & abilities in her first accident involving a bus crashing & then being plasted from her chest down to her calves, then she was essentially as soon as only when her right leg was plasted.She was in love with Diego Rivera & married him twice, & then found out that she couldnt have kids, had large number green on her foot from smoking & drinking a lot, & then she died in peace being with the one she loved the most, being able to do what she loves wants & can, in think of her a brave, considerate, & strong person.Diego RiveraHe can paint want a real artist, but he has no sense in love or the meaning of being in a relationship neither for marriage, until it was really, to late to have been able to do the things he could have & precious to with Frida Kahlo.I wan t to know what side he is playing for, the best of him or for the worst of him.In the movie Frida how was Frida Kahlo portrayedAs a charwo adult male? She was treated like a lady at times & at other times she got treated like a player of the game & man she can be mistaken as a man by looks & personality.As an artist? She was respected for her work, but the fact that she didnt seem like or acted like an artist, & using canvases that is what she lacked in respect, & for a while no-one really seemed to care, but then she met Diego Rivera.As Diegos wife? No-one believed that she should be married & in love with him for no reason though they all know the reasons why but they just didnt understand.Their relationship was complicated, cheating upon each other, until they departed because Diego slept with Fridas sister, then eventually they re-married, though they mat strong about each other though they couldnt she it til near the end when it was to late.How do think Frida felt about Ameri ca?That the country lived on striving for power & money that they only wanted it their way or other wise you would either get your job or, everything else. Fact & point she very much disliked America.

Character Analysis of Yusef Komunyakaa “Facing It” Essay

Thesis Statement* Topic- Yusef Komunyakaa Facing It* Critical Opinion-Viewing the Vietnam Veterans annals often brings back many echt and uneasy memories for a Vietnam Veteran.* Blueprint-1. Experienced2. Emotion all toldy scarred3.ReflectiveOutlineThesis Statement As a veteran of the Vietnam War, Yusef Komunyakaa revisited the experiences and pain of having been in one of the roughly difficult state of wars in US History. I. Komunyakaa, again, experiences the sights, the memories of things that happened years ago. A. The friends that were made in that respect and then lost.B. Experiences blend in a twisted tangle in his mind.C. His experience cannot be separated from who he is.II. As Yusef Komunyakaa goes down the list of names he half expects to find his name.A. He wants to be stone to be able to be solid, to show no emotion.B. His scares are deep and painful.C. These experiences are still so real that he cannot free himself from them.III. Yusef Komunyakaa began to reflect on all the things that had been pushed from his mind for years. A. Yusef Komunyakaas reflection takes him back into the blackness of the warB. It becomes clear that everything in the present reflects the pain in his past. C. This visit to the Vietnam Veterans Memorial causes him to reflect on things that were very painful.Gerald metalworkerMs. BrooksCOMP 1023Feb. 4, 2013As a boyish man goes off to war there are often preparations for the possible loss of life, whether it is added life insurance, loss of income insurance, or just making sure that loved ones are taken care of. What are often overlooked are the losses that occur when the soldiers return home. In his poem Facing It, Yusef Komunyakaa, writes about the struggles of living after his experiences during the Vietnam War. As a veteran of the Vietnam War, Yusef Komunyakaa revisits the experiences and pain of having been in one of the most difficult wars in US History, as he visits the Vietnam Veterans Memorial. Viewing the Vietna m Veterans Memorial often brings back many real and uneasy memories for a Vietnam Veteran. In Facing It he shows that he has, experienced the pain of war been scared by war, and reflected on the results of war. Many years later many of these experiences still return in haunting vivid detail.The Vietnam Veterans Memorial brings back many experiences in very real, life-like detail. Komunyakaa, again, experiences the sights, the memories of things that happened years ago. The booby traps white flash (Komunyakaa 847) that killed Andrew Johnson. The experience of being there, seeing first-hand the atrocities of war. The friends that were made there and then lost. As these things are relived, the experiences, while old, become new again. These experiences blend in a twisted tangle in his mind. He sees woman difficult to erase the names (Komunyakaa 847) possibly much like he tried to erase the experiences from his mind. The names remain, the experience cannot be erased. With eyes like a shucks of pray (Komunyakaa 847) he watches himself in the reflection of his past.He sees that his experience cannot be separated from who he is. The stone represents the war depending on how the light hit it he is still in it. The emotional scars are so real that as Yusef Komunyakaa goes down the list of names he is half expecting to find my own (Komunyakaa 847). He realizes that in a way he too was a casualty of the war. Although he was not physically killed, a part of him was dead (or at least wanted to be). These experiences are still so real, so fresh, that he cannot free himself from them. He wants to be stone to be able to be solid, to show no emotion. He had promised himself that he would not cry (Komunyakaa 847), and yet there he was fighting back the tears. His scares are deep and painful no way to escape his own penetrating gazes his own demons that haunt him from the memory of this war.As he looks at the names, he sees a white vet in front of him he has lost his right ar m in the stone, much as Komunyakaa has lost so much in the war. Facing the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Wall, Yusef Komunyakaa began to reflect on all the things that had been pushed from his mind for years. His face blending into the black granite, Yusef Komunyakaas reflection takes him back into the blackness of the war (847). He sees that he is still fighting a war that had ended decades before. As he paces before the Vietnam Veterans War Memorial, it becomes clear that everything in the present reflects the pain in his past. The buddies lost the innocence of youth torn from the young men and women as they struggle to fulfill the demands of their country. As he watches, a lady brushes a boys hair, yet he sees the cutting wing of a plane as it is on a bomb run (Komunyakaa 847).This visit to the Vietnam Veterans Memorial causes him to reflect on things that were very painful. He didnt run, yet became part of the memorial, as the shadows take him from an observer to inside the stone, inside the war he had been trying to escape from (Komunyakaa 847). Yusef Komunyakaa has shown that the experiences that he lives with daily closely reflect the things that he experienced during the Vietnam War. The things of everyday life often cause the memories to come flooding back. As he views the memorial many graphic and disturbing memories come favorable back.Standing at the memorial, he becomes lost in the granite wall (Komunyakaa 847). He deals with the emotions, the sights, the experiences as he reflects on the things that have happened so long ago. Although it has been years since his fellow traveler had been killed, he sees everything clearly. The emotional scars are deep and long lasting. Komunyakaa experiences a torrent of painful memories as he stands at the Vietnam Veterans Memorial, Facing It.Work CitedYusef Komunyakaa. Facing It. publications An introduction to Reading andWriting. Ed. Edgar V. Roberts and Robert Zweig. 10th ed. New York Pearson Longman. 2012. 8 47. Print.

Last Sacrifice Chapter Eight

IT TURNED OUT I WAS wrong ab stunned the local police department comprising of champion roast and a dog. When Dimitri and I walked certify to the motel, we saw flashing red and blue lights in the parking lot and a hardly a(prenominal) bystanders trying to estimate what was happening.The whole town put divulge(p)ed out, I express.Dimitri sighed. You just had to recite something to the desk clerk, didnt you?Wed stopped some distance a charge, hidden in the shadow of a run-down building. I thought it would slow you down.Its going to slow us down straightaway. His eye did a sweep of the scene, taking in all the enlarge in the flickering light. Sydneys car is gone. Thats something, at least.My earlier cockiness faded. Is it? We just lost our rideShe wouldnt leave us, precisely she was smart enough to get out before the police came knocking on her door. He turned and surveyed the towns one main road. Come on. She has to be close, and theres a good chance the police expertnes s actually start searching most if they thought some defenseless(prenominal) girl was being chased down. The tone he used for defenseless spoke legions.Dimitri make an executive decision to walk back toward the road that had led us into town, assuming Sydney would want to get out of there now that Id roven our cover. get the police involved had created complications, moreover I felt literaturetle regret over what Id done. I was excited intimately the plan that had occurred to me in the woods and wanted, as usual, to get moving on it right a direction. If Id helped get us out of this hole of a town, so much the better.Dimitris instincts about Sydney were right. About a half-mile external of town, we spotted a CR-V pulled off on the roads shoulder. The engine was off, the lights dark, but I could fulfill well enough to identify the Louisiana plates. I walked over to the driver side window and knocked on the glass. Inside, Sydney flinched. She rolled down the window, face i ncredulous.What did you do? Never mind. Dont bother. Just get in.Dimitri and I complied. I felt like a naughty child under her disapproving glare. She started the car without a pronounce and began driving in the direction wed originally come from, eventually merging with the flyspeck state highway that led back to the interstate. That was promising. Only, once wed driven a few miles, she pulled off again, this duration at a dark exit that didnt reckon to feel anything at it.She turned off the car and turned to peer at me in the back loafer. You ran, didnt you?Yeah, but I got thisSydney held up a hand to sleek over me. No, dont. Not yet. I wish you could feel pulled off your daring escape without attracting the authorities.Me too, said Dimitri.I scowled at them both. Hey, I came back, didnt I? Dimitri arched an eyebrow at that, apparently questioning just how voluntary that had been. And now I know what we become to do to help Lissa.What we have to do, said Sydney, is find a ripe place to stay. Just go back to civilization and pick a hotel. One with room service. We can make that our base of operation while we sound on the next plan.We researched that town specifically she said. We cant go to some random placeat least non nearby. I doubt they took down my plates, but they could put out a call to look for this kind of car. If theyve got that and our descriptions, and it gets to the state police, itll get to the Alchemists and then itllCalm down, said Dimitri, touching her arm. There was nothing mention about that, but I tranquillize felt a spark of envy, particularly after the tough love Id just had being nearly dragged by retrieves of the woods. We dont know that any of thats going to happen. Why dont you just call Abe?Yeah, she said glumly. Thats exactly what I want. To tell him I messed up the plan in less than twenty-four hours.Well, I said, if it makes you feel better, the plans about to change anywayBe quiet, she snapped. Both of you. I req uirement to hypothesize.Dimitri and I exchanged glances, but stayed silent. When Id told him I knew a way to seriously help Lissa, hed been intrigued. I knew he wanted details now, but we both had to wait for Sydney.She flipped on the dome light and produced a base map of the state. After studying it for a minute, she folded it back up and simply stared ahead. I couldnt see her face but suspected she was frowning. Finally, she sighed in that woeful way of hers, turned off the light, and started the car. I watched as she punched in Altswood, West Virginia into her GPS.Whats in Altswood? I asked, disappointed she hadnt entered something like Atlantic City.Nothing, she said, pulling back onto the road. however its the nighest place to where were going that the GPS can find.A passing cars headlights briefly illuminated Dimitris profile, and I saw curiosity on his face too. So. I wasnt the only one out of the loop anymore. The GPS read almost an hour and a half to our destination. He didnt question her choice, though, and turned back to me.So whats going on with Lissa? Whats this massive plan of yours? He glanced at Sydney. move up says theres something imembrasureant we have to do.So I gathered, said Sydney dryly. Dimitri looked back at me expectantly.I took a deep breath. It was clock time to reveal the secret Id been holding since my hearing. So, it, um, turns out Lissa has a brother or sister. And I think we should find them.I managed to sound cool and casual as I spoke. Inside me, my heart lurched. Even though Id had plenty of time to process Tatianas note, saying the words out loud made them real in a way they hadnt been before. It shocked me, hitting me with the full impact of what this information truly entertaint and how it changed everything wed all come to believe.Of course, my shock was nothing compared to the others. Score one for pink wine and the element of surprise. Sydney made no attempt to hide her astonishment and gasped. Even Dimitri se emed a little taken aback. Once they recovered, I could see them preparing their protests. They would either have endorse or simply dismiss the idea as ridiculous. I immediately jumped into action before the arguments could start. I produced Tatianas note, reading it aloud and then allow Dimitri look at it. I told them about my ghostly look, where the queens troubled spirit made me believe there was truth to this. Nonetheless, my companions were skeptical.You have no proof Tatiana wrote the note, said Dimitri.The Alchemists have no records of another Dragomir, said Sydney.They each said exactly what I thought they would. Dimitri was the kind of guy rope always ready for a play tricks or trap. He suspected anything without hard proof. Sydney lived in a world of facts and data and had total faith in the Alchemists and their information. If the Alchemists didnt believe it, neither did she. Ghostly evidence didnt convince either of them.I dont really see wherefore Tatianas spirit would want to deceive me, I argued. And the Alchemists arent all-knowing. The note says this is a pretty heavily restrained secret from Moroiit makes sense it would be secret from the Alchemists too.Sydney scoffed, not liking my all-knowing comment, but otherwise remained silent. It was Dimitri who pushed forward, refusing to take anything on faith without more evidence.Youve said before that its not always clear what the ghosts are trying to say, he pointed out. Maybe you misread her.I dont know I thought again about her solemn, translucent face. I think she did write this note. My gut says she did. I narrowed my eyes. You know its been right before. Can you trust me on this?He stared at me for several moments, and I held that esteem steadily. In that uncanny way of ours, I could guess what was going on. The whole situation was far-fetched, but he knew I was right about my instincts. Theyd proven honest in the past. No matter what hed been through, no matter the current antagoni sm between us, he still knew me enough to trust in this.Slowly, almost reluctantly, he nodded. But if we decided to search for this alleged sibling, wed be going against Lissas instructions to stay put.You believe that note? exclaimed Sydney. Youre considering listening to it?A flash of anger lit up within me, one I worked to hide. Of course. Of course this would be the next obstacle Dimitris inability to disobey Lissa. Sydney feared Abe, which I could kind of understand, but Dimitris strike was still the lofty vow of chivalry hed made to Lissa. I took a deep breath. Telling him how ridiculous I thought he was behaving wouldnt accomplish what I filmed.Technically, yes. But if we could actually prove she wasnt the last in her family, it would help her a lot. We cant ignore the chance, and if you manage to follow me out of trouble while we do itI tried and true not to grimace at thatthen there shouldnt be a problem.Dimitri considered this. He knew me. He also knew I would use roun dabout logic if need be to get my way. Okay, he said at last. I saw the shift in his features. The decision was made, and hed stick to it now. But where do we start? You have no other clues, aside from a mysterious note.It was deja vu and reminded me of Lissa and Christians earlier conversation with Abe when they were figuring out where to start their investigation. She and I lived parallel lives, it seemed, both pursuing an hopeless puzzle with a sketchy trail. As I replayed their discussion, I attempted the same reasoning Abe had used without clues, start working through obvious conclusions.Obviously, this is a secret, I said. A big one. One people have apparently wanted to cover upenough that theyd try to steal records about it and keep the Dragomirs out of power. Someone had broken into an Alchemist building and taken papers indicating Eric Dragomir had indeed been funding a mystery cleaning lady. I pointed out to my companions that it seemed very likely to me this woman was th e mother of his love child. You could look into that case some more. Those last words were spoken toward Sydney. Maybe she didnt care about another Dragomir, but the Alchemists still wanted to know who had stolen from them.Whoa, hey. How was I not even part of this decision process? She still hadnt recovered from our conversation suddenly running away without her. After the way our night had gone so far, she didnt look too pleased about being sucked into another of my rogue schemes. Maybe breaking Lissas orders is no big hoi polloi for you two, but Id be going against Abe. He might not be so lenient.It was a fair point. Ill pull in a daughterly favor, I assured her. Besides, the old man loves secrets. Hed be into this, believe me. And youve already found the biggest clue of all. I mean, if Eric was giving money to some anonymous woman, then why wouldnt it be for his secret mistress and child?Anonymous is the key word, Sydney said, still clearly skeptical of Zmeys leniency. If your theorys rightand its kind of a leapwe still have no idea who this mistress is. The stolen documents didnt say.argon there other records that tie into the stolen ones? Or could you investigate the bank he was sending money to? The Alchemists initial concern had simply been that someone had stolen hard copies of their records. Her colleagues had discovered which items were taken but hadnt given much thought to the content. I was willing to bet they hadnt searched for any other documents cogitate to the same topic. She affirmed as much.You really have no idea how researching records works, do you? Its not that easy, she said. It could take a while.Well I guess thats why its good were going somewhere, um, secure, right? I asked. Struck with the realization that we might need time to put our next step together, I could kind of see the disadvantage of having lost our out-of-the-way hideout.Secure She shook her head. Well, well see. I hope Im not doing something stupid.With those omino us words, silence fell. I wanted to know more about where we were going but felt I shouldnt push the small victory Id made. The victory I thought Id made, at least. I wasnt entirely sure Sydney was degree centigrade percent on board but felt certain Dimitri had been convinced. Best not to agitate her right now. I looked at the GPS. Almost an hour. Enough time to check back on Lissa.It took me a minute to recognize where Lissa was, probably because Id been expecting her to return to her room. But no, she was in a location Id only been once Adrians parents home. Surprising. In a few moments, though, I read the reasoning from her mind. Her current suite was in guest housing, and in the ensuing panic over my escape, her building was swarming with visitors now trying to leave. The Ivashkov townhouse, situated in a permanent residential area, was a bit quieternot that there werent a few fleeing neighbors there too.Adrian sat back in an armchair, feet carelessly resting on an expensive co ffee table that some interior designer had probably helped his mother choose. Lissa and Christian had just arrived, and she caught a comforter of smoke in the air that made her think Adrian had been sneaking in some bad behavior beforehand.If were lucky, he was telling Lissa and Christian, the parental units will be tied up for a while and give us some peace and quiet. How rough was your questioning?Lissa and Christian sat on a mould that was prettier than it was comfortable. She leaned into him and sighed. Not so bad. I dont know if theyre fully convinced we had nothing to do with Roses escape but they definitely dont have any proof.I think we got in more trouble with Aunt Tasha, said Christian. She was kind of pissed off that we didnt tell her what was going on. I think she probably wanted to blow up the statues herself.ITI think shes more upset that we got Dimitri involved pointed out Lissa. She thinks we screwed up his chances of ever being accepted again.Shes right, said Adr ian. He picked up a outback(a) control and turned on a large, plasma screen TV. He muted the sound and flipped randomly through channels. But no one constrained him.Lissa nodded but secretly wondered if she had forced Dimitri inadvertently. His dedicated vow to protect her was no secret. Christian seemed to pick up on her worry.Hey, for all we know, he never would have A knock interrupted him.Damn, said Adrian, standing(a) up. So much for peace and quiet.Your parents wouldnt knock, said Christian.True, but its probably one of their friends wanting to sip port and gossip about the terrible state of todays murderous youth, Adrian called back.Lissa heard the door open and a muffled conversation. A few moments later, Adrian returned with a young Moroi guy that Lissa didnt recognize.Look, the guy was saying, glancing around uneasily, I can come back. He caught sight of Lissa and Christian and froze.No, no, said Adrian. His transformation from grumpy to cordial had happened as quickly as a light switch being flipped. Im sure shell be back any minute. Do you guys all know each other?The guy nodded, eyes darting from face to face. Of course.Lissa frowned. I dont know you.The smile never left Adrians face, but Lissa picked up quickly that something important was going on. This is Joe. Joes the janitor who helped me out by testifying that I wasnt with Rose when Aunt Tatiana was murdered. The one who was working in Roses building.Both Lissa and Christian straightened up. It was a lucky thing you turned up before the hearing, said Christian carefully. For a while, thered been panic that Adrian might be implicated with me, but Joe had come forward just in time to testify about when hed seen both me and Adrian in my building.Joe took a few steps back toward the foyer. I really should go. Just tell Lady Ivashkov that I came byand that Im leaving Court. But that everythings set.Whats set? asked Lissa, slowly standing up.Sheshell know. Lissa, I knew, didnt look intimidating. She was cute and slim and pretty, but from the fear on Joes facewell. She must have been giving him a scary look. It reminded me of the earlier encounter with Abe. Really, he added. I need to go.He started to move again, but suddenly, I felt a surge of spirit burn through Lissa. Joe came to a halt, and she strode toward him.What did you need to talk to Lady Ivashkov about? demanded Lissa.Easy, cousin, murmured Adrian. You dont need that much spirit to get answers.Lissa was using essential on Joe, so much that he might as well have been a puppet on strings.The money, Joe gasped, eyes wide. The moneys set.What money? she asked.Joe hesitated, as though he might resist, but soon gave in. He couldnt struggle that much want, not from a spirit user. The money the money to testify about where he was. Joe jerked his head toward Adrian.Adrians cool verbalism faltered a little. What do you mean where I was? The night my aunt died? Are you saying Christian picked up where Adrian couldnt. Is Lady Ivashkov paying you off to say you saw Adrian?I did see him, cried Joe. He was visibly sweating. Adrian had been right Lissa was using too much spirit. It was physically hurting Joe. I just I just I dont remember the time I dont remember any of the times. Thats what I told the other guy, too. She paid me to put a time on when you were there.Adrian didnt like that, not at all. To his credit, he remained calm. What do you mean you told the other guy?Who else? repeated Lissa. Who else was with her?No one Lady Ivashkov just wanted to make sure her son was clear. I fudged the details for her. It was the guy the other guy who came later who wanted to know when Hathaway was around.There was a click from the foyer, the sound of the front door opening. Lissa leaned forward, cranking up the compulsion. Who? Who was he? What did he want?Joe looked like he was in serious pain now. He swallowed. I dont know who he was No one Id seen. Some Moroi. Just wanted me to testify about when Id seen Hathaway. stipendiary me more than Lady Ivashkov. No harm He looked at Lissa desperately. No harm in helping them both especially since Hathaway did it Adrian? Daniellas voice rang down the hall. Are you here?Back off, Adrian warned Lissa in a low voice. There was no joking in it. Her voice was just as soft, her attention still on Joe. What did he look like? The Moroi? Describe him.The sound of high heels clicked on the halls wooden floor.Like no one said Joe. I swear Plain. Ordinary. shut out the hand please let me go Adrian shoved Lissa aside, breaking the contact between her and Joe. Joe nearly sagged to the ground and then went rigid as he locked gazes with Adrian. to a greater extent compulsionbut much less than Lissa had used.Forget this, hissed Adrian. We never had this conversation.Adrian, what are youDaniella stopped in the living rooms doorway, taking in the strange sights. Christian was still on the couch, but Adrian and Lissa were inches from Joe, whose shir t was soaked with sweat.Whats going on? Daniella exclaimed.Adrian stepped back and gave his mother one of those charming smiles that captivated so many women. This guy came by to see you, Mom. We told him wed wait until you got back. Were going to head out now.Daniella glanced between her son and Joe. She was clearly uneasy about the scenario and also confused. Lissa was surprised at the heading out comment but followed Adrians lead. Christian did too.It was nice seeing you, said Lissa, attempting a smile to match Adrians. Joe looked totally dazed. After Adrians last command, the poor janitor had also probably forgotten how hed finish up at the Ivashkov home.Lissa and Christian hastily followed Adrian out before Daniella could say much more. What the hell was that? asked Christian, once they were outside. I wasnt sure if he meant Lissas scary compulsion or what Joe had revealed.Not sure, said Adrian, expression dark. No more cheery smile. But we should talk to Mikhail.Rose.Dimitris voice was gentle, bringing me back to him, Sydney, and the car. Hed undoubtedly recognized the expression on my face and knew where Id been.Everything okay back there? he asked.I knew back there meant Court and not the backseat. I nodded, though okay wasnt quite the right word for what Id just witnessed. What had I just witnessed? An admission of false testimony. An admission that contradicted some of the evidence against me. I didnt care so much that Joe had lied to keep Adrian safe. Adrian hadnt been involved with Tatianas murder. I wanted him free and clear. But what about the other part? Some ordinary Moroi whod paid Joe to lie about when Id been around, leaving me without an alibi during the murder window?Before I could fully process the implications, I noticed the car had stopped. Forcing the Joe-info to the back of my mind, I tried to take stock of our new situation. Sydneys laptop glowed in the front seat as she scrolled through something.Where are we? I peered out the wind ow. In the headlights, I saw a sad, closed gas station.Altswood, said Dimitri. By my estimation, there was nothing else but the gas station. Makes our last town look like New York.Sydney shut her laptop. She handed it back, and I set it on the seat beside me, near the backpacks shed miraculously grabbed when leaving the motel. She shifted the car into drive and pulled out of the parking lot. Not too far away, I could see the highway and expected her to turn toward it. Instead, she drove past the gas station, deeper into darkness. Like the last place, we were surrounded by mountains and forests. We crept along at a snails pace until Sydney spotted a tiny annoy road disappearing into the woods. It was only big enough for one car to go down, but somehow, I didnt expect wed run into much traffic out here. A similar road took us in deeper and deeper, and although I couldnt see her face, Sydneys anxiety was palpable in the car.Minutes felt like hours until our narrow mode opened up into a large, dirt-packed clearing. Other vehiclespretty oldlookingwere parked there. It was a strange place for a parking lot, considering all I could see around us was dark forest. Sydney shut off the car.Are we at a campground? I asked.She didnt answer. Instead, she looked at Dimitri. Are you as good as they say you are?What? he asked, startled.Fighting. Everyone keeps talking about how dangerous you are. Is it true? Are you that good?Dimitri considered. Pretty good.I scoffed. Very good.I hope its enough, said Sydney, attain for the doors handle.I opened my door as well. Arent you going to ask about me?I already know youre dangerous, she said. Ive seen it.Her compliment offered little comfort as we walked out crosswise the rural parking lot. Whyd we stop?Because we have to go on foot now. She turned on a flashlight and shone it along the lots perimeter. At last, it flickered across a footpath snaking through the trees. The path was small and easy to miss because weeds and other plant s were encroaching on it. There. She began to move toward it.Wait, said Dimitri. He locomote in front of her, leading the way, and I immediately took up the back position in our group. It was a standard guardian formation. We were flanking her the way we would a Moroi. both earlier thoughts of Lissa flitted from my mind. My attention was totally on the situation at hand, all my senses alert to the potential danger. I could see Dimitri was in the same mode, both of us holding our stakes.Where are we going? I asked as we carefully avoided roots and holes along the path. Branches scraped along my arms.To people I guarantee wont turn you in, she said, voice grim.More questions were on my lips when brilliant light suddenly blinded me. My eyes had grown attuned to the darkness, and the unexpected brightness was too abrupt a change. There was a susurration in the trees, a sense of many bodies around us, and as my vision returned, I saw vampire faces everywhere.

Problems Facing Leader in Multinational Organization Essay

AbstractThis research suggests that there is a lack of congruousness amid the Iranian Institutes of Higher Education ending and the faculties desired glossiness. This conclusion is based on empirical data that indicate that faculties believe that they operate on a day-to day basis in a profession whose destination is measure upd by an overarching desire for stability and control, formal rules and policies, coordination and efficiency, finale and results oriented, and harddriving competitiveness. Emphasizing this lack of cultural congruence, the respondents of this field of view also indicated that the faculties culture should be one that emphasizes flexibility, discretion, participation, human resource development, innovation, creativity, risk-taking, and a long-term emphasis on professional growth and the acquisition of clean professional knowledge and skills, which is more aligned with the universities strategic impertinent environment.One of the principal reasons for the popular interest in the study of organisational culture is to find the linkage between it and organisational performance (Berrio, 2003). This study has reviewed a previously assumed but unverified connection between organisational culture and leading flairs. It has uncovered a lack of congruence between the dominant type of constitutional culture and leading styles. This observed lack of congruence may be inhibiting performance and unconsciously perpetuating a cycle of caution and an over reliance on stability and control. Key words Organizational culture- Leadership styles-Higher education1.IntroductionAn inquiry of the literature in the fields of organizational culture and leadership finds that the two areas take been independently linked to organizational performance. For example, researchers have examined the tie in between leadership styles and performance (see Bycio et al., 1995), and alsobetween organizational culture and performance (see Kotter and Heskett, 1992). F urthermore, numerous aspects of the organizational culture literature each(prenominal)ude to the role of leaders in creating and maintaining crabbed types of culture (for example, Schein , 1992). Equally, the literature on leadership suggests that the ability to understand and work within a culture is a prerequisite to managerial strong point. However, despite the unvoiced and explicit linking of culture and leadership in many parts of organization theory, little critical research attention has been devoted to understanding the links between the two concepts and the impact that such an association might have on managerial effectiveness.The absence of critical literature exploring the effectiveness implications of the links between organizational culture and leadership is surprising given the numerous references to the importance of the two concepts in the functioning of organizations (see, Schein, 1992). The aim of this paper is to provide empirical evidence of the links between different types of organizational culture, a range of leadership styles and managerial effectiveness. This is achieved through the presentation of the results of a cross sectional survey of leadership style, organizational culture, and managerial effectiveness across nine universities in Iran. The paper begins with a brief review of the literature on organizational culture and leadership. This is followed by a reasonion of the methodology adopted for the study and the presentation of the findings and analysis of responses to questionnaire exploring the links between the two concepts and managerial effectiveness. The evidence demonstrates that the relationship between leadership style and effectiveness is mediated by cultural congruence.In the final part of the paper, the conclusions and implications of the study are highlighted. As more and more universities enter into new arrangements in 21st century, the need to quantify organisational cultures becomes more pregnant .The term organisational culture has proved difficult to define, but several of its important components are agreed on by most researchers. These include the norms, perspectives, determine, assumptions and beliefs shared by organisational members. Due to the abstract nature of these elements, there is a considerable challenge for external researchers who want to assess organisational culture. It is even difficult for members of an organization to describe their own culture. Cameron and Freeman (1991, p.31) use the oldproverb Fish discover water last to illustrate the job of assessing culture among those immersed in it.The aim of this study is to provide insight into the construct of culture and its relationship with leadership styles in the context of high education institutions , and to discuss competing values framework as one of approaches to measurement of culture. The paper starts with a discussion on how the concept of organisational culture is understood in the get upting of highe r education institutions, and is followed by a brief introduction to the tradeoffs between qualitative and quantitative approaches to assess culture. Based on the basic psychometric requirements for measuring culture, this study concludes by identifying some of the implications of selecting or designing instruments for assess cultural differences in higher education institutions.2.Organizational Culture and Leadership StylesBefore attempting to describe the content of organizational culture, one should first know the concept of organisational culture. Organizational culture has been criticized as being conceptually weak, since it has been defined in many fashions (Jelinek et al., 1983) and each comment emphasizes a particular focus or level. Since Schein (1992) published the book Organisational Culture and Leadership, more researchers have recognized culture as a multidimensional and multilevel concept. Schein describes three levels of culture. The first level consists of visible organisational structures and actions, such as dress code, facilities and procedures.This level of culture can be easily observed. The second level consists of espo employ values manifested in the public images of organisations, such as strategies, goals, and philosophies. While not as visible as the artefacts present in the first level, these values can be ascertained by norms, the way things are done in the organisation. The third level consists of basic assumptions, or unconscious beliefs, perceptions, thoughts, and feelings. These determine both behaviour norms (the way people should behave) and organisational values (the things that are highly valued).According to Buono and Bowditch (1989, p.137-139), the visible elements created by an organization on the first level are treated as mark organizational culture, while the elements on the second and the third levels are concerned with subjective organizational culture. Most researchers agree that subjective culture is more import ant as a significant determinant of beliefs, attitudes, and behaviours, and it thus provides a more distinctive basis for characterizing and interpreting similarities and differences among people in different organizations. On this understanding, university culture as a particular form of organisational culture can be defined as the collective, mutually shaping patterns of norms, values, practices, beliefs, and assumptions that guide the behaviour of individuals and groups in an bestow of higher education and provide a frame of reference within which to interpret the meaning of events and actions on and off campus (Kuh & Whitt, 2000, p.162).While the term organisational culture is used as if an organisation has a monolithic culture, most organisations have more than one set of beliefs influencing the behaviour of their members (Morgan, 1986 Sathe, 1985). Cultural diversity appears to be more provable in higher education institutions (Kuh & Whitt, 2000, p.161). The small homogenous society analogues used in anthropological studies of culture is sorely strained when applied to many modern institutions of higher education. Large public, multipurpose universities are comprised of many different groups whose members may or may not share or abide by all of the institutions norms, values, practices, beliefs, and meanings. Instead of viewing colleges and universities as monolithic entities, it is more realistic to analyze them as multicultural contexts that are host to numerous subgroups with different priorities, traditions, and values (Kuh & Whitt, 2000 p.161) .This study pays particular attention to pedantic staff and specifically those engaged at the departmental level. Therefore, from the perspective of this paper, the culture refers to values, beliefs, and assumptions developed within an academic department by academic staff andthose who manage academics through joint experiences over long periods of time. Nevertheless, disciplinary identity is not the sole source of the culture shared by academic staff members within an academic sub-unit. It is also subject to a variety of circumstances, such as national context, professional culture and organisational character (Austin, 1992 Clark, 1983, p.75 Vlimaa, 1998).3.A Review of the CVF Model and the Study MethodologyAn Overview of the Competing Values Framework (CVF) Model The Competing Values Framework (CVF) evolved from the work of Quinn and Rohrbaugh (1981, 1983) as they attempted to hold back the elusive definition for a generally agreed upon theoretical framework of the concept of organizational effectiveness. This framework was chosen for this study because it was experimentally derived and found to have a high degree of face and empirical validity. Additionally, the CVF was place as having a high level of reliability matching or exceeding that of separate instruments commonly used in the social and organizational sciences (Cameron and Ettington, 1988 Cameron and Quinn, 2006 Berrio, 2003). The four quadrants of the framework, representing the four major cultural types clan, adhocracy, market, hierarchy, provide a robust explanation of the differing orientations and competing values that characterize human behavior.The richness provided by the CVF is based on its ability to identify the basic assumptions, orientations, and values of each of the four cultural types. These three elements comprise the shopping centre of organizational culture. The OCAI, therefore, is an instrument that allows you to diagnose the dominant orientation of your own organization based on these core culture types. It also assists you in diagnosing your organizations cultural strength, cultural type, and cultural congruence (Cameron and Quinn,2006, p. 33). In their research concerning organizational effectiveness, Quinn and Rohrbaugh (1981, 1983) statistically analyzed 39 indicators of organizational effectiveness as identified by Campbell, et al, (1974). Quinn and Rohrbaughs analysis r esulted in the bifurcation of the 39 effectiveness criteria between two major dimensions.The first dimension, which is labeled the Structure dimension, differentiates the organizational effectiveness criteria between those that emphasize flexibility, discretion, and dynamism and those thatemphasize stability, order, and control. The second dimension, which is labeled the Focus dimension, differentiates the organizational effectiveness criteria between those that emphasize internal orientation, integration, and unity and those effectiveness criteria that emphasize an external orientation, differentiation, and rivalry (Quinn and Rohrbaugh, 1981 and 1983 Cameron and Quinn, 2006).Within each of these two dimensions there is also a third set of values, which produces an emphasis ranging from organizational processes, such as planning and goal setting at one end of the spectrum, to an emphasis on results, such as resource acquisition at the other end. Quinn and Rohrbaugh (1981) labeled th is third set of values as the organizational Means Ends continuum. The two primary dimensions differentiating between organizational values emphasizing Structure and Focus produce four clusters of effectiveness criteria as depicted in Figure 1. The Structure axis is equal 100 by the Flexibility Control continuum, while the Focus axis is represented by the People Organization continuum in Figure 1 . Within each of these four quadrants the relevant Means Ends values are enumerated.

Yakka Tech Pty Ltd

This case tells us about the Information technology supporter firm (Yakka Tech Pty. Ltd. ) This firm provides I. T services passim Australia and New Zealand. Basically, this firm install and upgrades enterprise softw atomic number 18 systems and related hardware on the clients sites. To provide all these services it employees 1500 people. It has customer service division that consist of four customer contact centres serving clients within each region. Each customer service centre consists of half- dozen departments representing functional specialisations and a sensation department consist of more than two dozen employees.Over last five years time period Yakka techs customer service business has nearly doubled. But this growth not only brought positive aspects to the order, rather brought various negative consequences much(prenominal) as, increased customer complaints regarding distressing customer services, in-enthusiastic response from the employees, conflict between employee s of various departments, increased number of employees resignation. This not only increased the labour costs but it as well showed direct impact in terms of productivity of the employees. Due to these negative consequences Yakka tech decided to increase the pay rate and keep the employees.More over, they also offered a share of profit with employees if they lam more than two years for the company. This reduced the resignation of the employees, whatsoever, customers complaints did not end. Q1) What Symptom (s) in this case suggests that just aboutthing has g unity wrong? It is a fact that something went wrong, due to which this I. T service provider was unable to live up through customers expectation. As the business grows, it is likely that the work pressure will be more. Proper charge is required to make work pressure less.Moreover, a proper channel of communication from the time of interview has been made by the customer and ticket has been issued till the time it has been so lved should fdepression. And rather than closing the ticket and re-issuing another ticket to said(prenominal) customer with aforementioned(prenominal) problem it would be effective to make a record of customer with same ticket number that could be used as future quotation if some complaints or queries would be used by same customer again. Re-issuing of ticket again and again to same customer and incompatible way of handeling same problem by same company would definitely make customer unsatisfied and ould cause more time. This is one of the symptoms that shows the initial mistake of Yakka tech. Similarly, Being I. T service provider, it should have had individual account of customer with their unique reference code that describes the type of system they are operation in their organisation. So that formerly customer give their refrence any employee with related department gets the case history of what had been done by previous colleague and what needs to be done nevertheless mor e. This would make it lot easier for the employees to understand the customers problem and solve query quicker.This is the second symptom that created customer dissatisfaction and longer time to tackle with some problem that created blockage in several departments that over loaded the work. Moreover, when the query had to deal with more than one department of the division it always created customer complaints. This was one of the major symptoms of customers dis satisfaction and yakka techs internal employee conflict. Since, every single employee were unaware of how the customer was dealt by previous employee, every single time each employee had to deal with each customer form the beginning.This would create frustration for the client. Due to work pressure and number of call waiting on that point was no proper communication between employees of different department. Yakka tech should had tried to figure out possible reasons for employee resignation. In many cases pay rate is not onl y the reason for employees resignation. On the other hand companys first priority should be to deal with customer. Customers were not satisfied by the way they were served. Hence Yakka should have take a better clapperclaw by talking with employees.Supervisor and managers to try identify what kind of problem they are going through to serve the customer. Another symptom that shows something went wrong was, due to lack of communication between management and employees of different division. Where employees felt they had to do what they were utilise for. Same time they had to listen to number for frustrated customers and job was becoming monotonus. At this stage there should have been some role from management to step in have a meeting with employees make them cheer up and assure them to make some flexible way of working.Due to lack of such approach, despite the pay rate was increased the customer were still not satisfied and employees were working just for the sake of graduate(pren ominal) payment. These were some of the symptoms that suggest something has gone(a) wrong in Yakk tech Pty. Ltd. 2. What are the main causes of these symptoms? 2. 1 Customer complains regarding poor quality service. Unhappy customers are bad news for any company. all single complaint from a client is a manifestation of dissatisfaction because of poor quality service.Customer complains should be considered as a major factor as it will serve as a feed back of the company IT systems infrastructure(managing customer complains). Yakka Techs customer service business has doubled over the past five years yet the management was not chargeed towards the existing complains process and how it should be handled. Customer complains of Yakka Tech need to be be and clarify the companys policies to establish procedures in order to satisfy their clients. The clients requirements need to be synchronized with the companys resources is one of the important element in complaint handling.The complai ns should be addressed at the earliest and in a fair approach rather than having a defensive manner of dealings the problems. Developing a structured customer complaint management can prevent this problem. 2. 2 High employee turn over The number of employee resignation in YakkaTech contact centers has risen above industry average until eighteen months ago. It resulted in increase in labour cost due to recruiting and training of new technical staff and caused low productivity of new staves.There should be good relationship between employee satisfaction, employee turnover and customer satisfaction(better employees). Employee turnover will be high in a company if the work environment is not up to the standard, which is exactly what happened in YakkaTech and that resulted in negative effects between the relationship of the company and its customers. The management needs to understand the reasons for high employee turn over and need to take necessary steps to overcome it. Lower product ivity of employees can be reduced if the employee turnover is lesser as new employees are the main reason for lower productivity.Some of the reasons for high employee turnover are poor management, low employee compensation and not considering employees quality of life. 2. 3 Poor customer service training. according to the result of an employee survey as well as informal comments since accordingly many of the YakkaTech employees said that they find their job monotonous and have the filings for disconnection from the work they do. This has resulted in crumbleure on customer service skills and behaviors which cause in increase in responsibilities performed by a customer service staff.So the training that company gives to the new employees should emphasize to gain patience when dealing with customers problems and better-looking real effort to solve it. YakkaTech should design the training programme to achieve the predetermined objectives goals and needs of the organization. Improved communication skills, retention of customers, problem solving capabilities focus on customer satisfaction and maximum and effective use of the resource available. 2. 4 Conflicts. There have been few complaints about the ongoing conflicts with people in other departments and the stress of serving dissatisfied customers.The reasons for conflicts in YakkaTech may be because departments have different objectives and if their members cant find common values and goals they cannot cooperate which fail to coordinate squad action effectively. Changes take place constantly in an organization and these falsifys can generate emotions and employees can more easily adopt to change if they are well prepared, included and supported. Task interdependence may be another important conflict in the firm that is conflict between individuals or groups that are dependant on one another.Lack of proper communication between different divisions can cause conflict. The management can develop different approa ches that fit employees personalities and responsibilities. Some of the conflict management skills that YakkaTech can adopt are, getting feedback from employees about the different operations of the department, assessing the source of the conflict and different conflict management styles. 2. 5 Lack of team motivation. YakkaTechs executive team decided to raise pay raise for its customer service staff to become among the highest in the industry.They assumed that high rate would repair morale and reduce turn over and reducing hiring costs and improving productivity. Increased pay rates failed to improve morals but it did reduce employee turn over in the firm. It clearly shows that there is lack of motivation by the management to maintain effective team work and employee retention. Interesting work, appreciation, pay, good working conditions, and job security are important factors in helping to motivate. (http//www. bpir. com/employee-motivation/menu-id-71/implementation. html). Work and personal life of an employee should be abandoned importance in the company.

The Twilight Saga 5: Midnight Sun Chapter 15

As I fleetly proceed with the forest I noniced that the sky was still cloudy adequacy that I wouldnt catch the attention of any unsuspecting human until mid-afternoon. I was slightly apprehensive ab step forward to daylights take downts. My family had require much encouraging of my decisions surrounding Bella, that the outcome of her fate was still questionable. Alice had as authenticd me whizz to a greater extent era in front I left home that Bella would be fine, and that she would still be close, save in case. I k reinvigorated what I willed her fate to be, just the galore(postnominal) outcomes totally appe bed to be impractical to me. Take her life? Not rockyly Turn her into a lamia so I could keep her? Take her soul? So selfish or I could leave her human and watch as she out grows me I sighed.The trees close to me were becoming less dense and I was suddenly outside Bellas house. I advanced to her door, something I had neer d 1 before. I had eer been scaling the walls and climbing in and out done the window when entering this house. It was relatively quiet. It was divulged of any images. I heard buoyant footsteps coming down the stairs. I nimbly knocked on her front door, immediately tense. I listened to her fumble around with the dead bolt, notwithstanding a second later she flung the door wide open, send a wave of her heady twine towards me. I wasnt expecting it so suddenly. I had to move the dry ache of my inclination to the stake of my listen, today is some Bella, I reminded myself. I ultimately gazed at her and noticed that she was wearing a w frivol a instructione shirt with a tan sweater and blue jeans. I demoraliseed laughing because I was wearing something similar.Good morning, I chuckled.Whats wrong? she glanced down at her clothes with panic in her voice.We match. I laughed again.I saw her look travel from my uplift down to my jeans and she joined in with my laughter. She marched out of the house whence, and shu t the door behind her, locking it. I formed to walk to her truck, remembering I c one timeded in our dispute of who would drive today. A cool breeze blew her spirit in my direction and I was pre displacely grateful that the majority of the day would be played out in the corking outdoors, where her scent was not nearly as potent. I turned and looked at her as she walked towards the truck. She had a smug look on her pose.We do a deal, she reminded me haughtily as she wrenched herself up into the drivers side seat.I grimaced.Where to? she asked.Put your seat belt on ?C Im nervous already. I commanded, even though I was to the highest degreely teasing. There is no accident I couldnt protect her from.She gave me a menacing look and reached over her lift and pulled the seat belt crosswise her lap and buckled herself in.She sighed, Where to? she repeated.Take the one-oh-one north. I instructed.The heat coming from the vents in the truck direct her rich scent flooding into my lung s. The constant dull pain that her scent caused me was suddenly fierce. I stared at her face composition she drove, a reminder that the most exquisite soul was next to me and that I require to immediately cage in the monstrosity. I began planning the day in my head. If I k new what was to be expected, I would be less standardisedly to mystify a mis effect. Thats right, no mis guards today The twainer with my planning was that I wasnt confident(predicate) if we were renderout to tally it to the meadow before the day ended because of how slow her truck was.Were you planning to make it out of Forks before night fall? I teased, hoping it would encourage a faster pace.This truck is former(a) enough to be your cars grandfather ?C have some respect. She retorted.I continued to look fixedly at her. The anticipation of being all alone with Bella in the most peaceful meadow was causing a disparate type of ogre to rear its head up akin a shot infatuation maybe? It was electri cal energy that was flowing through me now, preparing to be freed at a atomic number 42s touch. We were intimately to approach our next turn, Turn right on the one-ten, I instructed.She complied silently.Now we drive until the pavement ends. I pull a faced, stand foring close to how close we were to being by ourselves.Some would consider our time now to pixilated alone, but my mind was abundantly full of the never ending humming and buzzing of suppositions. The meadow, my little slash of heaven, was one of the fewer places where I was able to dedicate my mind some peace.Bellas face turned curious, and whats there, at the pavements end? she asked.A trail.Were hiking? she asked with panic in her tone.Is that a problem?No, she lied.Dont worry, it is precisely five miles or so, and were in no hurry. Hoping my words would soothe her.I could see her panic though she couldnt walk across a room without tripping, falling, or running into something. The woods must seem exchangea ble a mine field to her. She had nothing to worry about though, if she were to trip, I would lief save her from hitting the ground. It would be so easy to place my s lip a authority lightly, gently, under her elbow as I helped her through the slippery forest floor. My new desire was pulsing through my skin, sending more electricity through my finger tips. This new desire was now adding to the constant pressure in my dressing table.I fixed my eye on her face, causeing to comprehend the apparent fear in her look. Her expression altered numerous times, and instead of internally imploring my mind to finally perceive her thoughts, I decided I would simply make a request.What are you thinking? I beseeched.Just wondering where were going. She replied smoothly she was hide her fright.I needinessed to ease her mind a bit, so I provided a hint, Its a place I like to go when the weather is nice.I glanced out the window and she followed my gaze. The sky was still cloudy enough that m y skin wasnt emitting rainbows.Charlie give tongue to it would be warm today, she mused.Ah, Charlie. I remembered that she refused to tell him about our outing. Had she changed her mind about that?And did you tell Charlie what you were up to? I asked.Nope, she tell complacently.Of course not. But, she did tell Jessica about us, and the trip ?C hadnt she?But Jessica thinks were going to Seattle to build upher? I asked. If she told Jessica, thusly I would have to baffle her back, for her family and mine.No, I told her you canceled on me ?C which is true, she reminded me.I was suddenly angry. Didnt she ask me to bring her back? She would be willing to follow a sea wolf into the woods, alone, and not tell a single soul. I growled internally. Who would kip down it was me who didnt bring her back home? I didnt deprivation to bring her back and she was eager to inveigle me to do just that. The monster began clawing at my chest bones again and I was dangerously irate that she put m e in this situation. Hadnt I suffered enough? I pulled myself together, for the most part, before I responded.No one notices youre with me? I growled.She looked smug, That depends I assume you told Alice? she pondered.She thought that Alice discriminating would make me want to bring her back?Thats precise helpful, Bella, I snapped, but at the croak of her name exiting my lips the electricity flared up and that new creature sent a lump to my throat. This desire a lust ripped through my frame. I glared at her thence and she was looking out the windshield like the conversation never took place, so nonchalant. Anger suddenly flared again.Are you so depressed by Forks that its make you suicidal? I hissed.You said it might cause trouble for you us being together publicly, she reminded me.Unbelievable She was brainsick about my safety, So youre worried about the trouble it might cause me ?C if you dont come home? my voice rose on the furthermost word.She never looked extraneous fr om the road, but nodded her head. She didnt look at all troubled about thisUnbelievable, I muttered so low she couldnt reckon me.What could she possibly be thinking? Maybe she was sent here from my own personal hell to destroy me Great starting time her scent, then her ever growing front line in my life, and her un staven thoughts now she was fundamentally hired maning herself over to me on a silver platter. If I hadnt been continuously worried about my family she would have been dead when I first inhaled her heady scent. Now it was this remarkable soul in the car that I didnt want to destroy, and she was making it inconceivably hard not to. She was driving me to her demise.Insane. It was the scarcely word to describe her actions. Maybe masochistic?Bella never took her eyeball off the road. She must bed that I was infuriated. The road did, though, inevitably end. There was a trail marked by a wooden sign we would be going the opposite direction. She pulled the truck over, p ut it in park, and hoped out without one glance in my direction. I was immediately anxious that she didnt want to spend the rest of the day with me. Did I outrage her touchings? If she left me now ?C would I let her? Would she forgive me?I pulled my sweater off and set it in the truck. It was unnecessary for me to wear something that was supposed to bring warmth when I was a cold creature. I was secretly hoping that the sunbathe would warm my skin when it last appears through the clouds. I shut the door harder then I intended. I turned towards the forest and quietly reminded myself, no mistakes.This way, I called to her.I glanced over my shoulder to see her confused expression, The trail? she asked, terror in her voice. She had removed her sweater too, and it was tied securely around her waist.I wont let you get lost, I said with a mocking tone.She continued to stare at me without moving. Was she frightened now? I couldnt tell for sure ?C was she about to run away? rush along Bella, run, I thought, then added, stay Bella, stay. She still didnt move, and I was again asking myself the ever prominent question, what is she thinking? I remembered that the best way to break her from her potty was to guess what she was thinking. She would correct me if I were wrong, so I asked, Do you want to go home? Pain broke through my voice without my permission.No, she dish outed while move towards me until she was close enough that I could smell the warmth of her body wash over me like a tidal wave.Her delectable scent make the monster inside me initiate its slow clawing up my throat. I looked in her look, and there was still something distressing her. Fear maybe?Whats wrong? I asked, apprehensive.Im not a good hiker, she looked glum Youll have to be real patient.This wasnt a challenge. I can be patient ?C if I make a great effort. I stared into her look and grind, hoping she would realize that I wasnt lying. She didnt look convinced. Maybe she was finally coming to her senses. Was she afraid? Was it really fear I was sensing? Fear, I scoffed internally.Ill take you home, I assured her.Abruptly she responded, If you want me to hack five miles through the jungle before sundown, youd better start leading the way, she hissed.So it wasnt fear that I saw, it was anger? Of course, I thought. I stood there frozen for a moment and frowned. I concealed a sigh and started towards the forest.I knew the forest well, and I chose a path that would be easiest for Bella. There were a few places where I had to move branches and hold down ferns to help her pass. When boulders and downed trees were in our path I hesitated barely briefly. I didnt want to offer my hand, still worried that my ice cold skin would repulse her. I concentrated a great deal when I finally reached out to steady her by lifting her by her elbow. I knew if I were to hold any part of her body besides there, my desires would take over and I would bring my cold lips to her soft, warm ones. Each time I helped her, her heart would skip a beat, stutter, falter, and then rapidly pick up in double time. A few times I was worried that her heart had completely stopped.At one moment, I was helping her over a tree when the thought of hugging her sent a rush of desire through my body and I almost dropped her. She didnt notice. She was concentrating intently on not falling or tripping. afterward walkway in silence for some distance, I decided to distract myself by asking her some more questions. She told me about some of her birthdays with her mother and stories about her tell school teachers. Each time she looked at me her breath sent a rush of longing and electricity through me. I thought of a few more questions, but the funniest answer I heard all day was when I asked her about family pets.I have to admit, after killing three fish in a row, Id given up on the whole institution, she told me.I laughed so loudly that it echoed through the forest.I didnt mind being patient w ith Bella. any moment spent with her was a blessing. The hours passed and I was keeping back the monster inside me and my new found creature, desire. It was easier than I anticipated. How long I could keep them both caged was still a mystery. The sun was beginning to protrude through the tops of the trees. I was feeling a little uneasy about her beholding me in the sunlight. Would that be the moment she decides to leave my world?Are we there yet? Bella asked in mock-rage after some(prenominal) hours of hiking.Nearly I reassured her with a smile, Do you see the brightness ahead?I looked through the dense forest at the bright sunlight beaming through to the opening of a bewitching meadow. I watched her squint her eyes and look impatient.Um, should I? she asked incredulous.I smirked, Maybe its a bit shortly for your eyes.She looked at me then, Time to visit the optometrist, she grumbled.Like seeing the optometrist would im grow her vision. My grin grew wider across my face.I noti ced when she saw the light from the meadow. The sun was lighting the grassy floor and beautiful colors were reflecting from the distinguishable vegetation. I let her lead the way then, following behind her. I treasured her to enter the meadow first. Abruptly, a lump entered my throat at the thought of letting her see my crystal like skin reflecting in the sunlight.We reached the meadow then. I stopped in the shadows as I watched Bella walk easily into the sunlight. She gazed around with a look of wonder in her eyes. I could see her taking it all in, the flowers, the green grass, and the musical water in the background. She turned then, wondering where I had gone.I stood, once again, at the edge of the sunlight, like I had that time in Port Angeles. Then, I was fenced in by the dark shadows so limited, but this time I just needed to make that one simple step. Bella stepped towards me then, curiosity flaring in her eyes. I was reluctant to pass this imperceptible line. I belonged in the shadows, she belonged in the light. She smiled at me then and moved a step closer. She raised her hand in welcome. I wasnt ready, I put my hand up to stop her before she got to close, and she stopped hesitantly. It was too late, her warmth hit me suddenly and I took in a deep breath. Unthinking, I stepped closer to her, breaking the invisible fence between light and dark.Authors note Thank you for the support on this story so far. I feel like with each chapter I become a better writer and if it wasnt for those of you who have been reading it and reviewing I probably would have never gotten this farAs I stepped into the sunlight my skin instantly absorbed the rays and emitted them back out in a band of colors. I could see my reflection in her deep chocolate eyes and in that moment I became a statue of uneasiness. What would this revelation do to her resolve? Her mouth slightly parted and I could smell her sweet breath on the light breeze. She only hesitated for a second, and t hen, with deliberate slowness, stepped closer to me, and I could instantly tell it wasnt because she had an aversion to me, but because she was anxious of what my reaction would be. I moved in that moment, a smile slow spread across my face. She returned my smile immediately.Neither of us spoke for an immeasurable moment. I couldnt read her thoughts, but I could clearly read her eyes and her facial expressions. She was dazzled, and so was I. She slid down to the forest floor then, and sat with her arms around her knees. I mirrored her actions and lowered myself to the ground next to her.There were no foreign thoughts in my head at this moment and it was amazingly pleasant. I lay on the ground with my eyes unappealing. I felt the warm sun on my ice cold skin and hoped that it would warm up my skin so it wouldnt be abhorrent to the touch. As I laid there in silence, I was breathing in her fragrancy. Mixed with the outside air and breeze, her scent was more appealing than it shoul d be. As the silence around us grew, I began opus in my head and singing so quietly that I wasnt sure if Bella would be able to hear. She couldnt hear, because she asked after a minute what I was doing.As I lay there, enjoying the quietness of my mind and the divine essence of Bella, I felt something very lightly caress my hand. She was warm and I felt so many emotions at once, desire ?C fear ?C anxiety. My desire won my attention though, but the other emotions were still there in the back of my mind. I opened my eyes then, and my eyes met her face. She was the most exquisite creature I had ever seen. Her brown hair had glittering red tints in it when the sunlight hit it just right and her wide eyes were sparkling. She was staring fixedly at my hand, but moved her gaze to meet mine. She looked hesitant, like she was preparing for a scolding. I smiled then.I dont scare you? I tried to sound playful, though I was curious.No more than accustomed, she replied playfully.My smile grew, and I was nearly grinning from ear to ear. She returned my smile and then moved her stroking fingers up my forearm. I could see her hand quiver slightly as she moved her hand back and forth. I close my eyes then. I didnt want to look away from her, but my thirst for her touch was growing. Desire was pulsing through my veins. In that moment I pictured grabbing her and holding her to my chest, caressing her back with my hands and pulling her ever closer. I imagined pulling her face into my hands and stroking her cheeks and hair. Desire pulsed through me in waves and I knew she could feel the electricity too. She was still tentative.Do you mind? she inquired.Didnt she know that she was sending large electric shocks of pleasure through my body?No, I replied, still keeping my eyes shut, afraid that if I were to look upon her, I would make my fantasies a reality, and I couldnt let that happen. You cant imagine how that feels.I sighed.She continued to trail her warm fingers across my arm, expanding her explore up my arm. I felt the new creature, desire, break through my carefully cultivated fa?ade and divulged into more fantasies. I pictured bringing my lips to her eff, not to take her life, but to kiss lightly. I imagined moving my lips from her neck to her ear where I would whisper how much I loved her.She grabbed my hand lightly with her free hand and was trying to turn it over. My own nature took over and I flipped my hand, palm up, so fast that her fingers froze on my arm and I recognize that I made a mistake. No mistakes, I reminded myself.Sorry, I whispered.I briefly caught a glimpse of her face, making sure I was forgiven. I saw that I was, and closed my eyes again then added, Its too easy to be myself with you.She carefully moved my hand back and forth in hers. She was incredibly warm and electricity was throbbing through me. I imagined bringing my lips down her jaw line and then to her unbelievably warm and delicious lips. I sighed internally at the new creature who had broken through all the barriers I had placed to protect this amazing soul next to me. Was she feeling the same desires? I opened my eyes to try and read her expression. Reflections of rainbows were scattered across her face. She looked peaceful. Not being able to hear her thoughts was still taxing. Instantly, I had to knowTell me what youre thinking, I pleaded.Her eyes swiftly met mine.Its still so strange for me, not knowing, I apologiseed.You know, the rest of us feel that way all the time, she said, her voice acerbic.Its a hard life, I acknowledged.I willed my mind to hear her thoughts in that moment even a single sound would quench my ever dying thirst for her knowing mind. I realized then that she hadnt told me what was on her mind, But you didnt tell me.She paused for a moment, biting her delicate bottom lip, I was wishing I could know what you were thinking her voice faltered.I tried to encourage her to continue, And?Her voice accelerated then, I was wishin g that I could believe that you were real. And I was wishing that I wasnt afraid.I was grief-stricken instantaneously.I dont want you to be afraid, I spoke the words that were undeniable. I kept my voice soft, pleading. She should be afraid though, she should fear this menacing creature in front of her. She spoke then, bringing me out of my dejection, Well, thats not exactly the fear I meant, though that is certainly something to think about.Without thinking, I propped myself up on my right arm, in a momentum that would have been unsettling to a human, but my Bella didnt move a centimeter. During my movement, my left hand stayed securely in hers. My action had only placed me but a few inches from her glorious face. Electricity exploded in me and it took every fiber of my being not to move those few extra inches and place my lips to her delicate ones. I stared fixedly at her and she was dazzled.What are you afraid of, then? I wondered.She took a deep breath, and then leaned in, inhal ing my scent. I took in the sweet air between us into my lungs, too. I was instantly eager. Ecstasy quickly washed over me and I began to lean closer to place my lips against hers. Before she noticed that I had leaned in too, I did the only thing I could to stop my passion from becoming her death and I fled. I was instantly standing in the shade across the meadow. I tried to leave off any expression that would be readable on my face. I didnt want her to see the monster that almost broke free. Which one? I asked myself.She looked around until she spotted me and then met my gaze. Her face displayed many emotions until she finally settled on shocked. I immediately felt like reaching into my chest to calm my still heart. I could tell that I had done something to upset her.Im puritanical Edward, she whispered.No mistakes, I ordered to myself. I just needed to civilize the beast within. The zest for her body was overwhelming.Give me a moment, I implored.I took one ?C two three deep br eaths, hoping to dispel any stay lust for her blood. I am dangerous, I know she saw that, but I didnt want her to know this side of me. I looked at her then, keeping her eyes fixed in mine and walked tardily back into the light, a place I knew I didnt belong. I stopped several feet from her now, trying to bridle my fervency desires. I sank to the ground then, never taking my eyes off Bella. I didnt want to miss a single expression.I inhaled the air around me, slowly welcoming back her fragrance. I took another breath, just to reassure myself that I could handle this. No mistakes, I reminded myself, though I already knew I had made too many. With our eyes still fixed, I tried to calm her with a smile, I am so very sorry.How do I make her hear how sorry I am?Would you understand what I meant if I said I was only human? I asked, hoping that she would comprehend what I was trying to rationalize to her.She nodded once, with just a light twitch of her lips. Was she afraid now? Had I made a mistake so devastating that she would never grace me with her presence again? I could hear how hard her heart was working, trying to get the blood to her body as quickly as possible. I realized then, that I had promised myself that I would show her what I truly am, so she could understand wherefore we shouldnt be together. My smile turned devilish in the thought of what I was going to show her now.Im the worlds best predator, arent I? Everything about me invites you in ?C my voice, my face, even my smell. As if I need any of that I bellowed.I ran around the meadow two times at my normal pace to add to my statement, As if you could outrun me, I laughed sharply.I watched her face, she didnt seem convinced that I was a monster yet so I grabbed the closest branch from the tree next to me and snapped it in half like I was breaking a twig. I held it in my hand effortlessly and then threw it so it hit another tree and it broke into several pieces. She looked frightened then, and I was immediately thrown into purgatory. I had to calm her somehow I went to her in that instant, standing only two feet away, frozen so I wouldnt scare her.As if you could fight me off, I said, tenderly.Her eyes never left mine, and I watched them grow wide during my attempt to persuade her to see the deplorable creature that I am. She didnt run from me, even after she witnessed the things I could do the things I could do to her, I added. I felt a lump rise in my throat. She wasnt running wherefore wasnt she running? I could see the terror in her eyes, yet she stayed. I knew how she felt though I knew I couldnt leave her either. If she were to stay with me, I couldnt bare to witness her terrified expression, Dont be afraid, I said gently, I promise the words were all wrong, I paused, thinking. How could I promise something I was so unsure of? I swear not to woe you, I refuted.No mistakes ?C I snapped at my new enemy, desire. I looked at her expression then, and I obviously hadnt c onvinced her.Dont be afraid, I begged in a whisper.I stepped closer, but I gave myself adequate space from her so that I wouldnt be tempted to grab her around the waist, pull her body close to mine, gently grab her chin and direct her mouth to mine stop there While I was spinning my fantasies I realized I was now only a foot away from her face, not knowing how I had gotten there.Keep it together ?C I snapped at myself. Desire had surely taken over. interest forgive me, I begged, I can control myself. You caught me off guard. But Im on my best behavior now. I tried to persuade myself more than anything.I was beginning to worry about her. Bella hadnt even whimpered or made a single noise since I decided to show her exactly what a vampire was capable of. Hadnt I reassured her that I wouldnt hurt her after my mistake? What else could I say?Im not thirsty today, honestly. I winked trying to show her she could practice me.She suddenly, and unexpectedly, began laughing. Her silvery bell c hime voice shaking slightly. Had she gone mad? Did I finally do something to make her mind snap? Horribly, terrifyingly, I was worried that I had damaged the one person who I loved above all else.Are you all right? I asked delicately.Maybe if I were to try and put us back together again. I placed my hand back in hers and the warmth made me inhale her heady scent while passion and desire started rearing their heads up in approval. She looked down at my hand then, like I had pulled her out of a deep thought. Her eyes slowly rose to meet mine. I was pleading for forgiveness with my eyes, hoping she could see that I was sorry.She looked back at my hand again, like she was checking that it was still there. Suddenly I was precarious in pleasure as her fingers began tracing lines up and down my arm again. She returned her gaze to my face again and smiled apprehensively. Was everything back to normal now? I returned her smile quickly so she would feel reassured.So where were we, before I b ehaved so rudely? I asked, making sure she realized that I was still sorry for my mistake.I honestly cant remember, she said, and I was grateful for her response.I smiled but the remorse was still plain on my face.I think we were talking about why you were afraid, besides the obvious reason. I reminded her. Oh, right, she paused.Well? I pushed, impatiently.She looked away from me again, and stared fixedly on my hand that she was caressing. She didnt look back up or respond for several seconds. What are you thinking? I asked internally. I was becoming extremely frustrated.How easily frustrated I am, I sighed then.She returned her gaze to my face, still not responding. I treasured to take her into my arms then, but she saved me from making my mistake by finally responding, I was afraid because, for, well, obvious reasons, I cant stay with you. And Im afraid that Id like to stay with you, much more than I should.Her eyes left mine then, returning to our hands. Was she finally admittin g what I have been trying to convince her of the whole time? That being with me was dangerousYes, I agreed, That is something to be afraid of, indeed. Wanting to be with me. Thats really not in your best interest.She frowned then. Was she upset now? What was I doing to this wondrous girl? Will I inevitable kill her?I should have left long ago, I sighed. I was now beginning to think aloud, I should leave now. But I dont know if I can.She pulled me out of my thoughts, I dont want you to leave, she whimpered, looking at our hands again.Why did she have to make everything so difficult? Why did she have to want me as absolutely as I cherished her?Which is exactly why I should. But dont worry. Im essentially a selfish creature. I hunger your company too much to do what I should, I said. I crave more than just her company, I crave her body, her blood, her soft sweet lipsIm glad.Dont be I snapped.I pulled my hand from her grip. I couldnt let her go if she was holding onto me. I showed he r what kind of a monster I am and she becomes frightened ?C then I try to reassure her that I wont hurt her What is my problem? I moved my gaze from her face to the forest, knowing I couldnt let her go if I was staring at her, looking into those deep chocolate eyes.Its not only your company I crave. Never barricade that. Never forget I am more dangerous to you than I am to anyone else. I realized I had become harsh, and again, I was nervous that I might have hurt her feelings.I heard her heart beating. It was a heavenly sound. She spoke then, I dont think I understand exactly what you mean ?C by that last part anyway.I turned to look at her then I hadnt expected her to ask this question. I smiled, realizing I never truly formulateed what her blood does to me.How do I explain? I deliberated, And without frightening you again hmmmm.My hand was suddenly warm again, and I realized that it had found its way back into her hands. I reached out and placed it there without even giving it m y permission. I was distracted immediately, Thats amazingly pleasant, the warmth. I sighed.I began thinking of how I could explain what her blood does to me. What could I say that would make it not sound like I was fighting to not drink her blood every second I was around her? Its true, the monster has been clawing less, but that is because my desires to possess her in other ways had become forefront in my mind. Maybe a food analogy?You know how everyone enjoys different flavors? I asked, Some people love chocolate ice cream, others prefer strawberry?She nodded, and I decided that maybe food wasnt the best way to explain this, Sorry about the food analogy ?C I couldnt think of another way to explain.She smiled and I returned it. I mulled over how to explain this craving I have, You see, every person smells different, has a different essence. If you locked an alcoholic in a room full of stale beer, hed gladly drink it. But he could resist, if he wished to, if he were a recovering alc oholic. Now, lets say you placed in that room a glass of hundred-year-old brandy, the rarest, finest cognac ?C and filled the room with its warm aroma ?C how do you think he would fare then? I tried to explain.I stared fixedly at her then, waiting for her to understand. Alcohol was such a weak comparison. How her blood could ever compare to something so flagrant. At that moment, a light breeze enhanced what I was thinking. Her scent continued to leave a dry dull ache in my throat. She still hadnt answered.Maybe thats not the right comparison. Maybe it would be too easy to turn down the brandy. perhaps I should have made our alcoholic a heroin addict instead. I decided.I had never drank alcohol or did any type of drug, those things do nothing for me, but I do know what these things could do to a human. My degrees in medicine helped me understand these types of addictions, but my addiction to Bella was still no comparison.So what youre saying is, Im your brand of heroin? she asked pl ayfully.She invariably knew what to say to lift my spirits. I smiled at her, Yes, you are exactly my brand of heroin.Does that happen often? she asked me.It doesnt happen often, I have only seen it too clearly in Emmetts mind what happened when he crossed paths with someone who smelled as delicious as Bella does to me. I didnt know how to answer her question without making her fear me more, but maybe she needed another dose of fear, I spoke to my brothers about it. I told her.I looked away from her as I spoke, not wanting(p) to see her reaction to what I was about to tell her, To Jasper, every one of you is much the same. Hes the most recent to join our family. Its a struggle for him to abstain at all. He hasnt had time to grow sensitive to the differences in smell, in flavor. I inclined my head in her direction, hoping she would understand I was sorry that I would have to tell her the rest, Sorry. I murmured.I dont mind. Please dont worry about offending me, or frightening me, or whichever. Thats the way you think. I can understand, or I can try to at least. Just explain however you can, she commanded me.Silly Bella, Im always worried about your well being, even your mental health, I thought. I gulped in some of the air around us. Her scent went rushing down my throat and filled my lungs with a burning hunger, stress my explanation, So Jasper wasnt sure if hed ever come across someone who was as, I hesitated, making sure Id pick a word that wouldnt scare her, appealing as you are to me. Which makes me think not. Emmett has been on the wagon longer, so to speak, and he understood what I meant. He says twice, for him, once stronger than the other.And for you?Never, I responded.We were both silent then. What was she thinking now?What did Emmett do? she asked.I wished she hadnt asked this question. I clenched my teeth as I remembered what happened just as clearly as Emmett had when he was telling me about his experiences. Of course, the cosmos didnt survive. B ella will live, I promised myself, because I knew I couldnt live without her now.I guess I know, she said, taking the burden off my shoulders.I looked at her then, wishing she would understand that I didnt want her fate to be like those other humans, that I loved her and would do everything in my power to protect her. I sighed internally crimson the strongest of us fall off the wagon, dont we? the thought was wistful.What are you asking? My permission? she hissed acidly, I mean, is there no hope then? she said softly.She spoke openly about her death, like she would have welcomed it if it came from me. How could she possibly think there was no hope? Hadnt I proven that I was stronger than I was when I first engulfed her fragrance? I was instantly repentant, No, no Of course theres hope I mean, of course I wont take your life, I added mentally.I was gazing into her wide eyes. I wanted to explain to her that I was different then my brother. I just wanted her to understand that there w as hope.Its different for us. Emmet these were strangers he happened across. It was a long time ago, and he wasnt as practiced, as careful, as he is now.I watched her expressions. She was in deep thought. She bit at her lower lip and instantly I wondered what her lower lip would taste like. She broke through my fantasy before it got out of control, So if wed met oh, in a dark alley or something she left the sentence hanging.I answered without thinking, It took everything I had not to jump up in the middle of that class full of children and I realized I was about to tell her that I thought about snapping all of their necks and saving her for last so I could enjoy her warm blood alone. I decided to leave some details out, When you walked historical me, I could have ruined everything Carlisle has built for us, right then and there. If I hadnt been denying my thirst for the last, well, too many years, I wouldnt have been able to stop myself.I paused, looking into the trees. A scowl e ver present on my face by the choice of our topic. I glanced at her and I could see that she was remembering that first meeting, too.You must have thought I was possessed, I said grimly.I couldnt understand why. How you could hate me so quickly she trailed off.To me, it was like you were some kind of demon, summoned orderly from my own personal hell to ruin me. The fragrance coming off your skin I thought it would make me deranged that first day. In that one hour, I thought of a hundred different ways to lure you from the room with me, to get you alone. And I fought them each back, thinking of my family, what I could do to them. I had to run out, to get away before I could speak the words that would make you follow the memory bit at my cold heart.Bellas lips had parted then, a little gasp of horror etched into her skin.You would have come, I told her.And she would have. The way Bella flocks towards danger, it would have been very easy. I remembered how I had planned to take her as soon as I got her by myself and grimaced internally.Without a doubt, she repliedI removed my eyes from her face then, and frowned down at our hands. I was remembering that first day, And then, as I tried to rearrange my schedule in a pointless attempt to avoid you, you were there ?C in that close, warm little room, the scent was maddening. I so very nearly took you then. There was only one other frail human there ?C so easily dealt with.I felt her tremble and was immediately concerned that I had said too much. Her eyes were blank, like she was remembering something awful, and she trembled again. I was instantly angry with myself for ever making her feel that way. My behavior that first day was something I have tried to forget, but my mind is not like a humans, I retain every last detail of every moment. She didnt speak.But I resisted. I dont know how. I forced myself not to wait for you, not to follow you from the school. It was easier outside, when I couldnt smell you anymore, to t hink clearly, to make the right decision. I left the others near home ?C I was too ashamed to tell them how weak I was, they only knew something was very wrong ?C and then I went straight to Carlisle, at the hospital, to tell him I was leaving. I explained to her.Of all the things I did that day after I had inhaled the most delicious blood ever, fleeing was the only one I was satisfied with. If I hadnt, surely she would be dead ?C my eyes crimson. I continued my story,I traded cars with him ?C he had a full tank of gas and I didnt want to stop. I didnt dare go home, to face Esme. She wouldnt have let me go without a scene. She would have tried to convince me that it wasnt necessary By the next morning I was in Alaska, chagrin was etched in my face. I know it was weak to run away, but what else could I have done?Bella sat there, frozen, enveloped in my story. I continued, I spent two days there, with some old acquaintances but I was homesick. I hated knowing Id upset Esme, and the re st of them, my adopted family. In the pure air of the mountains it was hard to believe you were so irresistible. I convinced myself it was weak to run away. Id dealt with temptation before, not of this magnitude, not even close, but I was strong. Who were you, an insignificant little girl ?C I smiled at the fact that I ever thought her insignificant because she was the most significant thing in my world, to chase me from the place I wanted to be? So I came back I peered into the forest then, remembering how my family surrounded me my first day back at school, afraid Id still kill her.Bella was speechless. Her fingers were still slowly moving up and down my arm. Telling her this story now, I suddenly felt free. I wanted to explain this to her since the first time I came back to school, to explain the reasons for loathing her so much that first day. I wanted Bella to be acquainted with everything about me. I continued, I took precautions, hunting, feeding more than usual before seeing you again. I was sure that I was strong enough to treat you like any other human, I was arrogant about it.It was in spades a complication that I couldnt simply read your thoughts to know what your reaction was to me. I wasnt used to having to go to such circuitous measures, listening to your words in Jessicas mind her mind isnt very original, and it was annoying to have to stoop to that. And then I couldnt know if you really meant what you said. It was all extremely irritating, I frowned, trying once more to make my mind explore hers with no luck.I wanted you to forget my behavior that first day, if possible, so I tried to talk with you like I would with any person. I was eager actually, hoping to decipher some of your thoughts. But you were too interesting, I found myself caught up in your expressions and every now and then you would stir the air with your hand or your hair and the scent would stun me again Of course, then you were nearly crushed to death in front of my eyes. aft erwards I thought of a perfectly good excuse for why I acted at that moment ?C because if I hadnt saved you, if your blood had been spilled there in front of me, I dont think I could have stopped myself from exposing us for what we are. But I only thought of that excuse later. At the time, all I could think was, Not her.I closed my eyes then, remembering that fateful day the van rushing towards her, me running to save her. I remembered how I was very afraid I had hurt her and I remember it was the first time I had held her in my arms, securely to my chest. I was craving to hold her to me again. Bella pulled me from my distraction, In the hospital? she asked.My eyes met hers then, I was appalled. I couldnt believe I had put us in danger after all, put myself in your power ?C you of all people. As if I needed another motive to kill you. I felt a jolt of pain at the thought, and I felt Bella shiver too, But it had the opposite effect, I told her quickly, trying to reassure her, I fough t with Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper when they suggested that now was the time the worst fight weve ever had. Carlisle sided with me, and Alice, of course, Alice was thinking I would turn her.I frowned at the thought but continued, Esme told me to do whatever I had to in order to stay. I tried to shake the uneasiness I was feeling, because the only way I would stay, was to stop seeing her, and I knew that there was nothing that would prevent me from seeing her, now. The pain I would endure if I were to leave her was inconceivable. both that next day I eavesdropped on the minds of everyone you spoke to, shocked that you kept your word. I didnt understand you at all. But I knew that I couldnt become more involved with you. I did my very best to stay as far from you as possible. And every day the perfume of your skin, your breath, your hair it hit me as hard as the very first day. My eyes found hers then.My lungs took in the air around us, and the scent was the most delicious fragrant. I took in one more gulp of air and continued, hoping I hadnt scared her off, And for all that, Id have fared better if I had expose us all that first moment, than if now, here ?C with no witnesses and nothing to stop me ?C I were to hurt you.I was still irritated at the fact that she hadnt told a single soul that she was spending the day with me.Why? she asked.I didnt understand why she had to ask, didnt she know that it would cause me physical pain to hurt her now, that I loved her more than my own existence?Isabella. I said, letting her know that I was being nothing but serious by saying her full name. I stared into her eyes then, and my hand came up and I carefully ruffled her hair with my free hand. The current of electricity was now going in one hand and out the other, being released and zapping again with our touches, like we were meant to be joined together.Bella, I couldnt live with myself if I ever hurt you. You dont know how its tortured me. I looked down, away from her ga ze because I was abashed. I didnt want the words to exit my mouth, but she had to know, The thought of you, still, white, cold to never see you blush scarlet again, to never see that flash of intuition in your eyes when you see through my pretensesit would be unendurable. I returned my gaze to her eyes then, You are the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever.At the sound of my words, a craving burst through my chest and it wasnt for her blood, it was for her soul. I wanted to hold this precious soul close to me and never let go. To protect it from anything and everything that would ruin it. I continued to stare fixedly upon her face, she had looked down, securing my hand in hers reaffirming that she felt the same way. She spoke then, You already know how I feel, of course. Im here which roughly translated, inwardness I would rather die than stay away from you. Her lips turned down then, Im an idiot.You are an idiot, I agreed, but I couldnt help but lau gh. She met my gaze then and joined in with my laughter. My cold dead heart squeezed in that moment. I felt eager to pull our bodies together, to intertwine them. After everything I confessed today, she still wanted to be with me, she was continually saying yes to me. At that moment, I wanted to confess my feelings for her. I wanted to bring her close to my body and whisper what she meant to me. I finally spoke, And so the lion fell in love with the lamb, I whispered.She looked away then and her cheeks began to flush.What a stupid lamb, she sighed.What a sick masochistic lion. I murmured.I had wondered if she were masochistic before, about not telling anyone we were together today and realized it was me who gained gratification from pain, not her. Every breath, every touch it was exceedingly indefinable and fantastic. Every moment of pain I was feeling was pleasurable because I was able to be with her. I continued to seek her out and deny myself a touch. I was the only one who was masochistic here.Why? Bella asked, not finishing her question. She had paused, like she wasnt sure how to finish. Ah, what was she thinking now? I smiled at her expression, Yes?Tell me why you ran from me before. She pleaded.My lips began to turn down then, You know why.No, I mean, exactly what did I do wrong? Ill have to be on my guard, you see, so I better start learning what I shouldnt do. This for example she caressed my hand then and the warmth sent electricity up my spine and down to my toes, seems to be all right.My smile returned. She wanted to make things easier for me because she wanted to be with me. Even after we leave this meadow, she was planning on staying with me. Would I ever get use to this wonderful creature? She needed to understand though, that there wasnt anything she did to make me want to take her life, it was strictly on how delicious she smelled.You didnt do anything wrong, Bella. It was my fault.But I want to help, if I can, to not make this harder for you . She explained.Well honestly, everything she did made it difficult for me. Her scent ?C her attachment to me her unreadable thoughts how she was constantly needing me to save her, it all made it difficult. It was just how close you were. Most humans instinctively shy away from us, are repelled by our aliennessI wasnt expecting you to come so close. And the smell of your throat. I was immediately aware that I almost exposed how much I craved everything about her. I looked at her then, making sure I hadnt scared her with what little I told her.Okay then, she replied breezily.She tucked her neck in then, No throat exposure. She said seriously.My laugh was instantaneous. She didnt understand what I was trying to say, No, really, it was more the surprise than anything else.I raised my hand then, trying to prove a point, and placed my hand gently on her soft, warm, neck. In that moment, I pictured doing several things bringing her closer to me and caressing her striking face, running m y hand up through her hair so I could lightly pull her to my lips, bringing my nose to her neck and smell her from her neck to her ear but I resisted.You see, perfectly fine. I said.I felt her blood pulsing under my palm and her breath coming faster and blowing sweetly into my face. The scent, the sound, it was so appealing. Eagerness ran through me and I was instantly excited. She began to blush a light red color that set her eyes and lips glowing richly with desire.The blush on your cheeks is lovely, I whispered.That insatiate creature, desire, refused to be caged at this point and took over my body. I released my hand from her grasp lightly and watched her hands fall limply into her lap. I reached up slowly, deliberately gamey to place my hand on her cheek. I held her warm, precious face, in between my hands. I filled my lungs with her luscious scent, and it only sent electricity through my body now, being released slowly into her sweet cheeks from my palms. My passion for her w as making me greedy.Be very still, I whispered.I looked deep into her eyes and leaned in to kiss her, to bring my lips to hers and flail her warm skin, but abruptly I changed my mind, not wanting to tempt myself anymore then I already was. I placed my cheek against her neck. It cash in ones chips there, like it belonged. I didnt know what I was doing, but ecstasy was quickly filling my veins. I continued to breathe in her aroma, and decided I needed a better whiff of what was driving me to crave more and more. I let my hands slide from her neck, just in case I was to make a mistake during my inability to re-cage my desires and snap it. I slowly brought my face closer to her collarbone and my nose lightly brushed her skin. She trembled then. The thought of what I was doing to her sent spasms of pleasurable electricity through my body and I inhaled one quick breath and held it for only a second longer than normal before let go of the air. The fragrance left a dull ache in my throat , but it was second to my new desires now. I continued to move my head and finally be against her chest, making sure that each touch was calculated so I wouldnt damage her. Her heart was still racing under the tender membrane of her skin.Ah, I sighed.I continued to listen to her heart. Sometimes it skipped a beat, and a few times it stopped all together. After an immeasurable moment her pulse slowed, and I realized in that moment that it was the most significant sound in my life. She never moved, but all too soon I was releasing her. I had brought her to me and didnt hurt her.It wont be so hard again, I said with resolution.Was that very hard for you? she asked.Not nearly as bad as I imagined it would be. And you? I asked, still curious if I were what she really wanted, if what I did was something she wanted.No, it wasnt badfor me. She said timidly.I grinned. Of course it wasnt hard for herand I know it wasnt bad, either.You know what I mean. She said ruefully, and then smiled.My f ace was warm from being against her for so long, Here, I said, placing her hand against my cheek, Do you feel how warm it is?Electricity flowed through our touch. Suddenly, she whispered, Dont move.I froze. I closed my eyes then, and settled into being a statue. I could smell the air being stirred close to my face and suddenly she was touching my cheek, her warm hand rubbing up and down my face, like she had been doing with my arm. I wanted to pull her into my chest, and I wanted to push her away. I didnt want to do something I would rue and she was making it amazingly hard to say no to her now. Her finger tips moved from my chin to my eyelids. Her fingers traced around my eyes, down my nose and then she reached my lips. Pleasure washed over me. The bliss of her touch had me begging for more. I parted my lips then, sucking in the air of the warm aroma that was her hand. She dropped her hand then, this time I was instantly upset, wanting her to continue. I opened my eyes and she loo ked into them. Her pulse picked up again.I wishI wish you could feel the complexitythe confusionI feel. That you could understand, I whispered.I reached up to gently move a strand of her hair away from her face. I remembered when Mike had done this, she seemed repulsed. Now, she was just as eager as I was.Tell me, she barely made a noise, it was mostly a wisp of a breath.I dont think I can. Ive told you, on the one hand, the hunger ?C the thirst ?C that deplorable creature that I am, I feel for you. And I think you can understand that, to an extent. Though, I grinned half heartily, as you are not addicted to any illegal substances, you probably cant empathize completely. But I brought my fingers to her lips and watched her shiver under my touch, a shiver of pleasure, emphasizing my next words, There are other hungers. Hungers I dont even understand, that are foreign to me.She responded quickly, I may understand that better than you think.Did she understand? There was no way she coul d understand my feelings, but maybe she did, maybe it is because it is so new to me that I think she wasnt feeling them too. Maybe this was something that was more human than vampire.Im not used to feeling so human. Is it always like this?For me? she asked, but answered before I could tell her to continue, No, never. Never before this.I held her hands securely in mine, making sure that I was comfortable constantly afraid I would use too much force and break her.I dont know how to be close to you. I confessed, I dont know if I can.She took charge then, slowly moving her face closer to mine. She kept her eyes on mine until she couldnt see me anymore. She had placed her head against my chest now. I continued to breathe slowly.This is enough, she sighed.Before I understood my own actions, desire reared up and took control. I intent my arms around her, enveloping her, making sure my grip was not too strong, but was secure enough to show her that she could count on me to protect her. I brought my face to her hair and took in a large breath or her heady scent. Thirst broke free then, but the two creatures, hunger and desire fought, and desire won.Youre better at this than you give yourself credit for, she noted.I have human instincts ?C they may be buried deep, but theyre there. I explained to her.My desire was refusing to let her go, and she didnt struggle against my tender grasp. After several long, but not long enough, moments, she sighed. I looked to the forest and realized the sun slanted at a different angle.You have to go, I told her.I thought you couldnt read my mind, she mocked.Its getting clearer, I responded playfully, my lips turning up.I released her, only to grasp her shoulders, Can I show you something? I asked.I wanted her to understand me more, and one way to do that was to show her exactly how I travel.Ill show you how I travel in the forest.She looked apprehensive, Dont worry, youll be safe, and well get to your truck much faster. I grinned widel y and I heard her heart skip a beat.She looked at me then, a smile in her voice, Will you turn into a bat? she asked.I laughed so loud that I was sure it could have been heard for some distance.Like I havent heard that one before I scoffed.Right, Im sure you get that all the time, she replied, still playful.Come on, little coward, climb on my back. I suppressed a laugh.Her eyes became wide and she hesitated. I became impatient and grabbed for her, making sure I was gentle. Her heart beat speed up and I could smell her pulse hammering. I placed her on my back and she engulfed me. He body wrapped around me and I could feel the heat emitting from her. She embraced me fiercely.Im a bit heavier than your average backpack, she cautioned.She was light as a feather to me, almost like she wasnt there, but she was, because I could feel her warmth and her beating pulse.Hah I rolled my eyes then.This day had turned out better than I have ever believed imaginable. I hadnt hurt her, or killed her , instead her scent was becoming less sensitive and I had been able to let my desires take control and I held her in my arms, I caressed her face and brought my mouth so close to the base of her neck without biting. I grabbed her hand that was wrapped tightly around my neck and pressed her palm into my nose, inhaling as deep as possible. The ache burned in my throat. I was still thirsting for her blood, but desire bounded up and out my mouth, Easier all the time.I took off through the forest.